Queer Eye for Hiei
by Lil DragonLex
Summary: Its a Queer Eye for the Striaght Guy meets Hiei! But how long can the Fab Five last without getting themselves killed and can they get Hiei to confess his love for a certain deity? Some HieixBotan.
1. How it began

AN: Warning: major OOC. Funny parts are not in the beginning. I upload this story last week and when I came to check on it, I couldn't find it anymore. I was like "Oh my god!! Where's my fic?!" so now it's back now again and this time I'm monitoring it carefully. Plus I fixed some stuff in it.

Chapter 1: How it began

"You should get an apartment," Yusuke said suddenly.

"Who?" Kurama asked the detective.

"Hiei."

"What?!" Hiei choked out.

They, including Kuwabara, were currently lodging around Kurama's room with his mom out for that afternoon. Yusuke lying on Kurama's bed, Kurama sitting on a sit by his desk, Kuwabara on the floor, and Hiei leaning on the wall next to the window. They were bored and the girls were out shopping. They didn't go and told the girls that they had better things to do. For the past hour they had done nothing but talk some small talk at Kurama's house. Oh yeah, better things to do.

Then, out of no where, Yusuke makes the comment that Hiei should get an apartment.

"I think that you should get an apartment," Yusuke repeated himself.

"Why?" Hiei said recovering from his shock.

Yusuke sat up from the bed. "Trees weren't very comfortable to sleep in. I don't know how you do it every day. Besides, since you practically live in the human world now, you should an apartment."

"That is the most stupid idea that you have ever come up with," was the tart reply from the fire demon.

"Well I don't think so. Do you think that it's a stupid idea Kuwabara?"

"You sleep in tress?" Kuwabara looked at Hiei with confusion and wonder.

"Okay. Wrong person to ask. What do you think Kurama?" Yusuke turned to the other demon in the room.

Kurama looked in Hiei's direction to see him glaring at him. Then he looked in Yusuke's direction only to find a hopeful one. "I think that Hiei should do whatever he wants."

Hiei smirked in approval of his best friend's reply. Yusuke pouted. Then his expression changed. He was determined. He pointed to the small demon. "Hiei get an apartment!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"I don't want to."

"Darn it Hiei, get an apartment!"

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I'm the leader of this team and as leader I say get an apartment!"

"You're a moron if you think that I'm going to do what you tell me."

"Hiei, you will get an apartment even if I have to go all the way to Konema and demand an apartment for you!"

"Geez, Urameshi. Why are you so bent on Hiei getting an apartment?" Kuwabara asked.

"I just think that he should get an apartment. Somewhere that we could actually visit him that's indoors. Besides, I just want him to have one," Yusuke said.

"Not good enough reasons," Hiei said.

"Well I don't care if it is a good enough reason or not. I just want you to get an apartment!"

"Well I have to admit, if you do get an apartment, you wouldn't have to take shelter here when it rains or gets too cold," Kurama pointed out. Yusuke smirked in satisfaction.

"Just whose side are you on fox?!"

"My side if you haven't notice."

"Actually I-" but Kurama was cut off by Hiei.

"Well I don't care what you say, I'm not getting a house."

"I never said anything about getting a house. I just said that you should get an apartment."

"House. Apartment. Who cares? They're the same thing."

"Actually they are not-" but Kurama was cut off again.

"Just get an apartment!" Yusuke yelled.

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"I don't like humans. Getting a house here would only signify that I am staying here for a long time. I'm only here because of Yukina."

"What?! You leave my Yukina alone!" Kuwabara perked up after hearing his beloved Yukina's name.

"Shut up Kuwabara! He wasn't talking about Yukina in that way!" Yusuke said.

"Then in what way does he mean?"

"Yukina is not yours!" Hiei yelled.

"Well she sure isn't yours!"

Hiei growled. His hands itched to get take out his katana.

"Hiei, get an apartment or else," Yusuke said breaking Hiei out of his murderous thoughts.

"Or else what?" Hiei said calling his bluff. He had nothing on him. There was nothing that Yusuke could use against him.

"Or else I'll tell Botan that you like her."

"W-What?!"

"Shorty likes Botan?!"

"You like Botan! And you never told me? I thought we were best friends!" Kurama pouted.

"I do not like Botan!" Hiei defended himself. The tiniest hint of blush was on his cheeks to which Kurama did not miss. His pout only deepened.

"You said her name! But you're right, you don't like Botan," Yusuke paused for the briefest of seconds before adding loudly. "You love her!"

"Shorty loves Botan?!"

"First you didn't tell me that you liked her. Now I find out that you love her! Hiei, why didn't you tell me? I thought we were supposed to be best friends!" Kurama whined. He was mainly teasing Hiei but was still hurt that he didn't tell him any of this and had to find out from Yusuke.

"I do not love the onna!" now there was a very visible blush on Hiei's cheeks.

"Admit that you love Botan or get an apartment," Yusuke said with a victory smile.

"I don't have to listen to you fools," Hiei went out the window with Yusuke running to it.

"Hiei, I'm going to make you get an apartment whether you like it or not!" he yelled out. This caused Kurama's mother, who was just about to open the front door, to look at her son's window and questioning whether or not her son's friends were sane.

---------- one week later ----------

"Get an apartment!"

"No!"

"Get one!"

"No!"

"I said get an apartment!"

"And I said NO!"

"Yusuke, maybe you should just drop the idea. It's been a week and you still haven't convinced him to get one," Kurama said trying to calm Yusuke down.

They were in the park standing below the tree that Hiei usually slept in. Yusuke had been going there every single day since his crazy idea took form trying to convince Hiei to get an apartment. So far nothing had work. Not even Yusuke's threat to tell a certain deity that he loved her.

"Urameshi, this is boring. Let's do something else," Kuwabara whined.

"No! Hiei's going to get an apartment. And I know just how to make him get one!" Yusuke took out a chainsaw that only God knows where he had been hiding it. Kurama and Kuwabara took a step back from him.

"Yusuke, what are you doing?" Kurama nervously asked.

"I'm going to cut down Hiei's tree. Without a tree to sleep in, Hiei has to get an apartment," Yusuke said simply and turned the chainsaw to on.

"Are you sure that this is legal?" Kuwabara asked. He nervously looked around, hoping that an officer wouldn't come their way.

"Who knows? Who cares?" Yusuke began to cut the tree.

"What is that noise? And what are you doing to my tree?!" Hiei called from above. He didn't see what Yusuke was doing but he felt Yusuke doing something to his tree.

"I'm making you get an apartment!" Yusuke yelled out his answer to Hiei because the sound of the chainsaw was loud. Especially when it was cutting down trees.

When Yusuke was finally done, Hiei felt the tree move and he jumped down from it before it could fall. The tree made a loud noise when it hit the ground. Hiei stared at Yusuke's chainsaw with hatred. It just cut down his favorite tree! And just as when Hiei was about to take out his katana to cut the traitorous thing to pieces, a police office called out.

"Hey! What do you kids think you're doing?!"

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Yusuke quickly hid the chainsaw behind his back.

Kuwabara ran off at the sight of the police and Kurama with him.

"Did you just cut down that tree?" the police asked suspiciously when he got near him.

"No. Why would you think that officer?" Yusuke said, putting on his best innocent face.

"Oh. Well, you better be careful than. Don't want the trees to start falling on ya," and with that the police officer turned around and left.

Yusuke gave a sigh of relief and turned to where Hiei was standing.. "Now you have to get- What! Hiei, where did you go?!"

"Yusuke, you really are a moron."

Yusuke looked up to a nearby tree and saw Hiei laying on one of its thick branches.

"Hiei!" Yusuke half growled and mostly yelled. He ran up to the tree and started to cut it down as well. Hiei merely jumped off the tree and jumped on another one when the tree he was previously at fell to at Yusuke's chainsaw. Yusuke gave another yell and started to cut that one down as well. Hiei jumped off, unbeknownst to Yusuke, and ran off to the other side of the park.

"Die tree! DIE!"

"Hey! I thought you said that you were cutting down trees!" the same officer from before said from behind Yusuke.

Yusuke, who was half away down from cutting down his third tree, hide the chainsaw behind his back again. He gave a sheepish laugh.

"Actually officer, I said that I didn't cut down that tree," he pointed to the first tree that he cut down.

"And did you cut down that tree as well as the other one?" the police officer asked with a very stern face.

Yusuke gave another sheepish laugh and took off, away from the park as fast as he could. The officer was left in the dust, confused.

The next day, Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara were at the park again only in the opposite direction from the place they were yesterday. As far away from that place as they could get. And Hiei was once again lying on his new favorite tree,

"Hiei. I'm giving you one last chance," Yusuke said to Hiei. Hiei only closed his eyes as if he was sleeping. Yusuke growled. "Alright. But you asked for it!"

Yusuke lifted the thing that was in his hands.

"Urameshi, I don't think that this is legal," Kuwabara said nervously and was scared at what Yusuke had in his hands.

"Yusuke, perhaps you should just forget about this whole thing," Kurama said just as nervous.

"Not until Hiei gets an apartment," he turned the thing in his arms to on.

"Hiei?" Kurama asked with hope in his voice. Hoping that Hiei would just agree to it so Yusuke wouldn't do what he's about to do.

"Hn."

He obviously didn't know what Yusuke had nor did he care.

Minutes later, smoke could be smelled coming from where the four males were currently standing. Well, three were just standing and staring at the fourth one, questioning he's sanity, and the fourth one, on the other hand, was laughing like a maniac.

"MWHAHAHA!" Yusuke laughed. He brought his blow torch to another poor tree and watched it burn for a moment before going to another tree and setting it on fire as well. This process repeated for a while.

"Hey Kurama," Kuwabara said staring at his best friend.

"Yes?" Kurama asked with half of his attention. He was also staring at the crazy Yusuke.

"Shouldn't Yusuke burning down trees and grass and other flowers upset you?"

"It does, but I'm not about to go within firing range next to Yusuke. At this point there is no telling what he would do."

"Oh, okay."

"MWAHAHA!!" Yusuke laughed at burning down his 23 tree. He was counting.

"And this is our leader?" Hiei incredulously asked.

"MWHAHAHA!"

"Yes. Hard to believe isn't it?" Kurama said.

"All the trees are going to burn! All the trees are going down! Ashes! Ashes! They all fall down!" Yusuke sang in the Ring around the rosy beat and did a stupid dance while burning down more trees.

"It's that kid again!" a police officer, same as yesterday, yelled out to his partner. They were sent to find out who was making the park fire and possibly stop them.

"You mean the one who was cutting down trees with a chainsaw?" his partner asked.

"Yes! Let's get him!" they ran up to Yusuke.

"Stop right there!"

"Hold it right there!"

Yusuke stop burning down trees to see the police officers running up to him and yelling at him to stop. Yusuke just turned the blow torch at them.

"AAHHHHH!" The officers screamed and ran away with fires on their backs. Yusuke only laughed with madness.

"MWWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

All around them, trees were burning and Kurama was sure that the whole park was about to go down to ashes as well. Then something in inside him snapped. He took Hiei by his collar and stared to shake him.

"Look, I don't mind all that much when you didn't tell me that you loved Botan. That I could understand. But now, I mind very, VERY much. So you better just agree to Yusuke's stupid idea about getting an apartment so he could stop burning down all these plants! Or I will kill you," he gave Hiei an evil eye.

Hiei looked to where a lunatic Yusuke was burning down the park and then back to Kurama who was threatening to go all Yoko Kurama on him.

"Hn," he pried Kurama's fingers off his collar and walked to where Yusuke was.

"Baka," he called when he was about five feet away. This caught Yusuke's attention and he turned off his blow torch. Hiei took a beep breathe and looked back to where Kurama was. He still had that evil look. "Hn. I decided to get an apartment."

"Really?"

A pause. Kurama glared. "Yes."

"Alright!" Yusuke threw away the blow torch and ran up to Kuwabara. "See, I told you that I could make him cave in less than two weeks!"

"Aww man!" Kuwabara took out a wad of cash and gave a little over half of it to Yusuke who eagerly took it.

Hiei twitched and walked to where Yusuke was happily counting his money. He tapped on the taller boy's shudder, who turned around, and punched him.

Yusuke went down in a dead heap.

---------- one month later ----------

"There is nothing here!" Yusuke exclaimed as he ran around the whole apartment for the third time.

"Hiei, I know that you really didn't want to get an apartment in the first place, but really. The least you could do is get some chairs," Kurama said and took a sit in the only couch in the living room. It was also a bit too small for him. Then the chair broke and Kurama's behind fell flat onto the floor.

"Opps."

There was basically nothing in the whole apartment except for the bed room and kitchen. The bed room contained a futon, small lamp, and several katanas. The kitchen had a stove (which was never used) and other kitchen stuff without the appliances. The refrigerator's bottom was empty and the freezer was packed with 'sweet snow'. The cabinets held only a few spoons. The living had only one single person couch.

"There's nothing here!" Yusuke exclaimed running out from the bathroom.

"So?" Hiei snorted.

"So?! What do you mean so? There is nothing here! Not even dust! How can you live here?!"

"I wouldn't last a week here," Kuwabara said.

"You wouldn't last a week anywhere," Hiei muttered.

"I heard that!"

"You had this apartment for three months now, you need to decorate it," Yusuke interrupted before Hiei could snort out another remark to Kuwabara.

"I already got an apartment. Now you want me to decorate it?" Hiei raised one of his eye brows.

"Yes."

"No."

"Do it."

"I'll pass."

Kuwabara took a step back from the two and Kurama moved the couch back as well. They both looked at Yusuke nervously, wondering what he was going to do to convince Hiei this time. To their surprise, Yusuke only smiled mischievously.

"Alright. Have it your way. But I warn you now, I will send someone here to make you decorate it," Yusuke left and Kurama and Kuwabara followed suit. Kurama gave a sympathetic glance at Hiei before closing the door.

Hiei merely, "Hn."

The next day, there was a knock at the door. Hiei ignored it.

**BAM! BAM!**

The knocked grew persistent and louder. Again Hiei ignored it. Then Yusuke's voce could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Hiei! Open up!"

With a grumble, Hiei reluctantly stood up and opened the door. When he opened it, he expected to find Yusuke. Instead, five men practically ran him over and went inside his apartment letting out a whoop and saying "Finally!" and "About time you let us in!"

"Who are you?" Hiei asked the five men in his apartment while getting up from the floor and hands going to his katana.

"You don't know?" one of them asked with a thick Japanese accent. "We're the Fab Five. Here to make your life fabulous!"


	2. This house! Those clothes! And you!

Chapter 2: This house! Those clothes! And you!

(AN: I am saddened to say that there isn't much humor in this chapter as I would like. Sorry to disappoint those looking forward for a really, really good laugh.)

"You what?" Hiei asked in disbelief.

"They're here to make your life more fabulous," Yusuke came from the door and went to give a slap to Hiei's back. Hiei was still looking at the five (crazy) men in his living room.

"AHH!" they heard the five (crazy) men scream. "What kind of house is this?!"

They were in the living staring in shock at the emptiness of it. One broke away and ran to the bedroom, another to the bathroom, and another to the kitchen.

"AHH!" There were screams coming from all three rooms. They ran back to the living to join their friends.

"There is nothing there!" they screamed. 'There is nothing there...'

"Oh cool! It echoes!" One of them yelled. 'Oh cool! It echoes....!'

"Helloooo!" another one yelled. 'Helloooo....'

"Yodalehehoo!" and another yelled. 'Yodalehehoo....'

"This place is so empty!" another yelled. 'This place is so empty....'

"I love hot Asian guys!" You get the picture.

"Hot Asian guys are hot! Hot Asian guys rock!"

"I love guys!"

"Pink is my favorite color!"

"Hugs and kisses to all men!"

And yeah... That all echoed in his apartment because it was so empty and they were so loud that the neighbors of Hiei began to think that he was gay.

"SHUT UP!" Hiei shouted. They were hurting his demonic sensitive ears. The five stopped what they were doing and blinked. Then they started all over again.

"I love America! But I love my boyfriend more!"

"You have a boyfriend?!"

"Why didn't you say so!"

"Is he a hot Asian guy?"

Hiei covered his ears. Just as he was about to say something about the five CRAZY men again, someone else beat him to it.

"Do they have to yell all the time?" Hiei turned around to find Kuwabara in house too, rubbing his ears, and the door closed. Kurama was no where in sight.

Hiei narrowed his eyes. _'The fox didn't even come. He probably knew who these crazy men are. Traitor.'_

"Are you Jaganeshi Hiei?" the one who went into the bedroom asked him. He was a blond man, skinny, and looked sort of like a girl. Only he had a masculine face. Hiei thought that he had a big nose. Like the others, he spoke in broken Japanese.

"Who wants to know?"

"You're shorter than I thought. But you defiantly are a cutie," the blond, "big nose man" said happily.

"What?!" Hiei moved to get his katana from his back.

No one called him short and got away with it. They most especially didn't get away with their life. And no one, NO ONE, calls him a cutie. He was a demon. He was a killer. He had the Evil Eye. Cutie was not something that you described Hiei.

"Hehe. Forgive my friend. But it's like I said before, he is not a social person. Let me talk to him for a moment first and Kuwabara will explain some things to you. Like what you should and should not do," Yusuke grabbed Hiei's arm from taking out his katana and pushed Kuwabara towards the five men.

Then he pulled Hiei a few feet away and said in a low voice. "Look, I know that you don't like people calling you short or cutie, but you can't kill them every time that they do. You'll be put in Renkai prison if you do."

"Who are they? What are they doing here? And where is the fox?" Hiei said, completely ignoring what Yusuke had just said.

Yusuke only smirked. "It's like they said. They are the Fab Five. Fabulous Five. Fab is the shorter version. From the American TV show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. They are doing an international thing with their show and I called them here to help you decorate your apartment. And _Shuichi_," with emphasis on Kurama's human name, "isn't here because he was afraid that they might start hitting on him. In case you haven't noticed, they're all gay."

"You baka! I don't want them in my house! Get them out!"

"No! I said that that I was going to bring someone here to decorate your apartment for you, so I did!"

"Exactly. Someone. Singular! Not someone_s_!"

"Someone, something. Who cares? The point is that they are here. Plus the camera is rolling. And there is nothing that you can do to stop it," Yusuke smiled in trumpet.

Hiei went rigid. He turned his whole body around slowly and saw a cameraman filming them.

"How did he get in here!?"

---------- at the same time with Kuwabara and the Fab Five ----------

"So what's the big deal? Where is all his stuff?" a guy with the glasses asked Kuwabara.

"Yeah. This place looks like one big canvas. Only you never started to paint it," another guy said to Kuwabara. His hands were itching to get some paint and paint the whole apartment pink.

"No wonder why you called us. This guy seriously needs some help in his life," the skinniest guy of them said. He was eyeing Hiei's butt. "But he is really cute."

"I know," the blond agreed. "That is exactly what I said. But I think that he doesn't like people calling him cute."

"He doesn't like people calling him short either," Kuwabara said. He nodded his head in agreement with what the blond said too.

"At least he is really hot. I love what he has done with his skin. What does he wash with?" a guy next to the blond asked.

"Uh..." Kuwabara was stumped. Did Hiei wash his skin? Did he even shower?!

"Well, aren't you suppose to tell us what we should and should not do?" the blond asked.

Kuwabara was grateful that he didn't have to answer that question. "Oh yeah. Don't call him short. He has a thing about that," Like that ever stopped him from calling Hiei Shorty. "He knows how to fight. He likes to fight too. And he is really fast. And, and... he likes to sleep in trees?"

"He likes to sleep in trees?!" the one who wanted to paint the place exclaimed.

"No wonder why there was a futon in the bedroom and not a real bed," the blond said in wonder.

"How did he get in here!?" they heard Hiei say.

They all turned around and saw Yusuke trying to hold Hiei back from beating the cameraman. The cameraman just kept on rolling. He didn't really think that Hiei was actually capable of killing but he was backing away from the fire demon with uncertain anyway.

"Fellows, I think that we should introduce ourselves," the blond moved towards Hiei and Yusuke. Hiei shook off Yusuke and glared at him. He looked up to see the blond in front of him. "Hello, I am Carson Kressley," he held out his hand to Hiei who looked at it confused.

"Carson, remember its last name first before first name. It's how they do it here in Japan. And plus, they don't shake hands. They bow," the skinny one said and then he bowed Japanese style. "I'm Rodriguez Jai. I'll be helping you keep up to date in modern culture."

"Oh I get it!" the Carson said and bowed as well. His head coming in real close with Hiei's chest. "I'm Kressley Carson. I'm the expert in fashion." He winked at Hiei. Hiei looked at him appalled.

"I'm Allen Ted. I'll help you with the food and wine. We have to go grocery shopping. There is absolutely nothing in your fridge!" the one with glasses said.

"Did you check the freezer?" Yusuke asked.

Ted ran to the kitchen. "Wow! Loads of ice cream! Can I have one?"

"NO!"

"I'm Douglas Kyan. It looks like you don't really have many problems with your skin. It looks great!" he moved to touch Hiei's face. Hiei backed up a step, out of reach of Kyan's hand, and growled at him. "So, you don't like to be touched," Kyan pouted. He had such good looking skin!

"And I am Filicia Thom," the last one introduced himself. "You have nothing here! There is no art! No pictures! No furniture! And worst, no colors!" he started to cry.

Hiei had a bizarre look on his face. _'Do all gay ningens act so strange?'_

"It's okay Thom. I'm sure that you can make this whole house look colorful in no time. And filled too!" Ted comforted the crying Thom.

"Come on boys! Let's go to the bedroom. It's the only room that something in it," Carson said and he led the way towards the bedroom. Everybody followed suit.

"See Hiei. Your boring apartment made one of them cry," Yusuke giving him a lopsided grin. Hiei glared.

Once they all got to the bedroom, Carson turned to Hiei and took out a small notebook from his pocket. "From what your friend told us, you are 19 years old," Hiei snorted. He was much older than that. "You like to fight, you like black, your specialty is with a sword-"

"Oh! Really? You have to teach me how to use one. I never knew how to," Kyan said and went to where the katanas were and picked one up.

"Put that down!" Hiei was immediately where Kyan was and snatched the katana off of the man's hands.

"But if we're to help you, we need to know about you. And looking at what little of your stuff that's here helps us," Jai explained.

"I don't need your help," Hiei snarled.

"Sure. That's what they all say," Carson put his arm around Hiei who quickly moved away. What he wouldn't give to kill them all. Maybe he should. He was already holding a katana. His arm went upwards.

"Relax Hiei," Yusuke said, went next to him, put a hand on his raised arm and brought it down. His grip firm. "Just let them go through your stuff. It's not like they'll break it."

"Exactly!" Thom said and went to see the katanas like Kyan.

"Oh, they're very pretty."

"I like how sharp they are," Ted said as he looked at them as well.

"Why don't you try seeing exactly how sharp they are?" Hiei said with a slight smirk. With luck they might end up bleeding to death.

Just as Ted was about to prick his finger on the katana that he was holding, Kuwabara quickly went up to him. "Maybe you shouldn't do that," he said.

"So the dimwit has a brain," Hiei muttered. He was mad that the baka had stopped the gay guy from poking himself. It would have been interesting to see how they would react.

"Why is that?" Kyan asked. He was about to prick himself on the finger as well.

"Umm, umm, because..."

"Because you might bleed!" Yusuke supplied for Kuwabara.

"Oh, that's okay. We're not squeamish when it comes to blood," Thom said.

"Speak for yourself," Jai said and put the katana back in its sheath.

Yusuke and Kuwabara let out a breath of relief.

"Didn't think that you knew that those katanas were dangerous," Yusuke said to Kuwabara quietly.

"They're dangerous?!" Kuwabara whispered franticly.

"Of course they are. What did you think they were when you stopped them from poking themselves?"

"That they were poisonous?"

"Moron! That's the same thing! And they were made from Makai! Everything is dangerous there!"

While Yusuke and Kuwabara were talking to themselves, Jai was talking to a relatively calm Hiei. That should have been a warning sign to those in the room who were still looking at his katanas, Thom gave a look of distaste at the futon, and Carson went into the closet, without anyone noticing.

"So, Urameshi-kun was telling me that you had been living in this apartment for about three months now. It's weird that you haven't done anything with it yet. I mean it's so dull and boring. And he was telling me before that you were going to have a party here later tonight with all your friends as a house warming for your new house," Jai said.

"Really? He told you that I was having a party here?" Hiei asked with fake interest. He was plotting something inside his head.

"Yeah. It's a good thing that you are too. He also told us that you are a very anti-social person, so a house warming party would do your social status some good," Jai said cheerfully.

'_Yusuke is going to die' _Hiei thought to himself and envisioned Yusuke tied tightly in ropes and fire all around him. Kuwabara right next to him.

"This is the worst thing that I've ever seen!" Carson exclaimed from inside the closest.

"Why? What is it?" Kyan asked curious.

Carson came out of the closet with something black and blue in his arms. He dumped what in his arms to reveal clothes. "Look! There were only three pairs of black pants in there. And three blue shirts! No shoes! Absolutely no shoes! And that's a walk in closet!"

"Hiei has a walk in closet!" Yusuke yelled in surprise and ran into the closet. "Hiei, why didn't you tell us that you had a walk in closet?! Do you know how much space is in there?!"

"Hn."

"You don't care?! Do you know what Keiko would give for a closet like this?! Sure it's not as big as celebrities', but still! You could practically walk 15 feet in there!"

"And he only has these!" Carson pointed to where the clothes where on the floor. "All black and blue! No other colors! It's like he grew up in a cave!" Carson fell to a dead faint making Hiei visible because he was standing right behind him. His hands behind his back.

"Baka ningen."

The rest of the Fab five gasped in shock went quickly to him. Ted took out something from his pocket and held it out to Carson's nose. He slowly woke up and groaned.

"Ow. My head hurts," he moaned.

Kyan chuckled. "That's because you fell on your head."

Carson gave a weak laugh as well. He didn't really believe him. Yusuke just gave Hiei a look. Hiei returned it with a 'So?' look. Yusuke dropped his.

"Anyways, now that Carson is alright now, Hiei let me finish talking to you in the living room. Thom? Let's go," Jai said and left the room with two males following. Yusuke in tow.

When they got there, Jai said, "So you're going to have that party tonight. Is there anyone in particular that you have in mind to be paying special attention to?" he gave Hiei a suggestive look.

This freaked him out. Was he trying to hitting on him?!

Thom laughed. "Don't think of us like that. It's just that we know that one of your guests tonight is someone special to you. And that you may tell that person that you love her," he gave Hiei a suggestive look as well.

Hiei turned to Yusuke quickly. Yusuke backed away several steps and scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "Hehe. Did I really tell them that?"

"I. Will. Kill. You."

"Oh come on Hiei! We're on TV! Too many witnesses!"

Hiei just took another step closer to him.

"You can't kill me! After all the things I've done for you!"

Hiei just kept on getting closer. Yusuke's back reached the wall. He gulped and closed his eyes. But instead of feeling death touching him, he heard two men laughing. He opened his eyes and saw Thom and Jai with their arms around Hiei. Hiei was looking dead in the eyes of Yusuke. Promising death the first chance that they were alone.

"We think that it's cute," Thom said.

"You must really like her," Jai said just as happily.

Hiei shook their arms off and glared at the two men.

"I do not love the onna," he grumbled.

"Sure you don't," Thom said.

"Oh Hiei!" a voice called from the bathroom.

Thom pushed Hiei in the direction of the bathroom. "Now go to Kyan. He'll talk to you about your skin." Hiei gave one final glare at them all before leaving the room. If only he could kill them all. But he didn't want to go to Renkai prison.

So he could only walk angrily to the bathroom where Kyan was waiting. Kyan was hugging the toilet when Hiei got there. Hiei knew now that all human guy men were crazy.

"There may not be anything in this room besides some dusts and no shower curtains," Kyan said still hugging the toilet. "But this toilet is so clean. I think that I'm in love with it."

Hiei backed away from the man, his eyes wide in shock.

"Okay, now I want you to tell me what you do in the morning when you come to the bathroom," Kyan said getting up from his sitting position.

Hiei just looked at him emotionlessly.

"What do you do when you get up and go to the bathroom? What do you wash your face with?"

"Water," must as well give an answer to the guy. He might never shut up if he didn't answer. Even if it may not be true. For a brief moment, it reminded him of Botan. She just never shut her mouth.

"Water? That's it? You wash your face with water? But you have such great looking skin! It doesn't even look dry!" Kyan went to touch Hiei's face again.

Hiei gave the other man a cold look. "If you try to touch me again, I will not guarantee your safety."

"What about your hair?"

"What about my hair?"

"I think that you should cut it."

"No."

"Come on. It's a bit too long."

"No."

"How about an inch?"

"How about I cut your head an inch?"

"Haha. I love your sense of humor."

"And I hate your sense of stupidity."

"Okay, now that wasn't funny."

"Was I laughing?"

"Don't you ever smile?"

"When I kill someone, maybe then you'll see me smile."

"You have a dry sense of humor."

"Hn."

"So, got any hot Asian friends or are you single and looking?"

Hiei ran out of the bathroom.

---------- with Carson and Kuwabara in the bedroom ----------

"I don't think that you should do that," Kuwabara said.

"Do what?" Carson asked as he opened the window wide open.

"I don't think that you should throw Hiei's futon."

"Why not?"

"He might get mad."

"Oh don't worry about that. He'll be thankful once we're done here," he picked up the rolled up futon from the floor.

Kuwabara tried picturing a grateful Hiei. In his mind was a chibi Hiei saying, "Thank you Kuwabara-sama. You aren't an idiot like I once thought you were. I was the idiot. I'm sorry. You are the strongest fighter I know. And I hope that you would teach me to be just like you."

Kuwabara snickered. Next thing he knew, Carson had the pile of clothes on his arms instead of the floor and was walking towards the window.

"Hey! What are you doing?" he yelled and blocked the window and held up his arms to the side in hopes of trying to stop the other man.

"I'm throwing out these clothes. They are so not happening. And what's with that cloak that Hiei-chan is wearing? They are so Medieval Times," Carson said as a matter of fact.

"Hiei-chan?" Kuwabara repeated. He started to laugh and was rolling on the floor laughing like crazy. "Hiei-CHAN! Haha!"

Once Carson was done with the clothes, he took the small unpleasant looking lamp and threw that out too. Once Kuwabara finally got a hold of himself, he realized that Carson had already thrown out all the clothes and the lamp. He quickly pick himself up from the floor and ran out the apartment to outside where the clothes where threw out. He picked up the clothes and ran back to Hiei's apartment.

When Kuwabara got back, he was greeted with the sight of a red face Hiei and five gay men, each holding a gallon of ice cream in their hands and a spoon. To say that Hiei was angry was an understatement.

'_Can not kill. Must not kill,' _Hiei kept repeating in his mind. When he got out from the bathroom, he went into the kitchen because it was Ted's turn to talk with him. He talked about how empty the kitchen was and Thom added that the whole place was empty. They talked some more about some other stuff, but Hiei was no longer paying attention.

It was too bad that he wasn't. Because what did catch his attention minutes later was that each of the Fab Five had an ice cream carton in their hands and was eating off it. Eating HIS sweet snow. Then he heard the door slam shut and he turned his head to see Kuwabara holding what appeared to be his clothes. And they were covered in dirt. His face became dark.

He stalked to where Kuwabara was. Murdered promised in his eyes and Kuwabara whimpered in fear.

"Hey. What are you doing over there!" someone called to him and Hiei stopped a few feet away from the buffoon.

That's when he remembered that there were other people in the apartment. And that cameraman. So he jerked on one of the pants that Kuwabara was holding and used one of the legs to whip the cameraman to drop the camera and then turned to Kuwabara again and punched him in the eye. Kuwabara fell to the ground.

"Okay! I think it's time to go!" one of the guys said like nothing had happened.

So two of the guys dragged Hiei out the door and Yusuke called after them, "Hiei! Remember play nice! Or else!"

The cameraman walking quickly behind them, trying to film them with cracked lenses.

Then Kuwabara woke up only to find his back, as well as Yusuke's, were on fire and the both of them started running in circles and screaming, "Fire! Fire! **FIRE!!**"


	3. Try something new with a twitch

AN: Beginning is a bit slow but yeah. I'm a bit sad with the lack of reviews but I don't mind that much because tuathafaerie and Crystal Koneko reviewed my fic!! They actually like it!! I adore their fics and am very pleased that they liked mine too. Though I don't review theirs because me lazy and they've got a so many reviews because they are that good. So thank you.

Because of lack of creativity, the next chapter is for you guys and not this one.

Chapter 3: Try something new with a twitch

Yukina (the sister) – Hiei is his own individual. He doesn't let anyone tell him how to look. It's something to admire.

Shuichi (the best friend) – He's apartment is too... white.

Botan (the friend) – Hiei doesn't really need to change he's appearance. He looks cute the way he is. Wait, I didn't say that. I didn't say that Hiei is cute. He isn't going to see this, right?

Kuwabara (the friend?) – He likes to sleep in TREES!

Shuichi – Perhaps some plants would make the apartment seem livelier. Especially ones that resemble trees.

Botan – Really, is he going to see this or not? Because I did not say that Hiei is cute.

Kuwabara – Style? Shorty wears black all the time. And he likes to sleep in TREES!

Yusuke (the friend) – Hiei needs a life. He doesn't really do anything unless he's working. Or when he gets pissed. If he does and you're the reason why, good luck with the rest of your few seconds of life.

Botan – Can someone please tell me if Hiei is going to see this?

Keiko (the friend) – In all honesty, I don't really speak with Hiei all that much. But I've never seen him in anything but black and a blue shirt.

Shuichi – Perhaps some color in his wardrobe would bright some light into his life. Black is just too depressing.

Kuwabara – Trees I tell you! TREES!

Botan – Why won't anyone tell me if Hiei is going to see this?!

Yusuke – Does Yukina know that we labeled her as his sister? Take out sister and put friend! She's not supposed to know that Hiei is her brother!

Yukina – Hiei is actually my twin brother. I think that I was born first.

---------- in the car with Hiei, Thom and Ted ----------

"You know, you're the youngest straight guy that we ever had to fix," Thom said while he was driving.

Fix? Hiei twitched but said nothing and continued to look out the window.

"You are also the first client that doesn't live in America," Ted added.

Hiei still said nothing.

"So what do you think of our Japanese? We're pretty good, ne?" Ted kept talking. "Jai had us practice it for a little over a year just for this purpose. He also made us practice French so we just about know three languages now. I hope that we don't have to learn another soon. I'm still trying to get down French."

"Hn. Any Japanese born person could tell that you're an America just by the way you speak," Hiei said in perfect English.

"So he does talk!" Thom said in mock surprise. "I didn't know that you could speak English. And so perfect too. Why didn't you tell us? What other languages do you speak?"

Hiei didn't say anything.

"Is our accent really that noticeable?" Ted asked.

Still nothing.

"Heeelllooo. Anybody in that head of yours?" Ted said and began to poke him.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"What do you want?!" Hiei snapped.

"I just want to know what's in your mind," Ted said innocently.

Hiei thought for a bit. A picture of the five men being eaten by a black dragon filled his mind. Then an image of two young men, one with black hair and the other with orange, were being cut to pieces with a sword. In the background was a (coughs) tall (coughs) black haired, crimson eyes, demon laughing like a maniac at the suffering of the men. Hiei smiled at his thoughts.

"See! I told you that he would like the idea of having a bright, magenta living room," he heard Thom exclaimed happily.

"Nani?" Hiei asked.

"Well, we were talking about what color to pain your living room. Ted here wanted to paint it yellow with orange kitties on it. But I that a bright, vivid, magenta would look lovely," Thom explained.

Orange kitties? Hiei's right eye twitched. That reminded him too much of the baka. And magenta?

"I will not have my house look like a cat market nor will I have it pink," he said.

"But kitties are cute," Ted said.

"And it's not pink. Its magenta," Thom said disappointed that another person mistook magenta for pink again.

"Hn."

"We're here!" Ted said and then quickly got out of the car when it stopped.

Hiei got out of the car and his eye started to twitch again when he saw the sign. It was red in a heart shape and it read, "Candy's Furniture." He looked at the display window and saw pink and red love seats, baby blue sofas, and wooden chairs with heart designs on them. His eye continued to twitch as Thom dragged him into the store where he saw more bright and colorful sofas and chairs and many of them with heart designs. But Thom dragged him towards the back of the store where the sofas weren't as bright and looked actually almost decent looking to Hiei.

"So, how do you like the store so far?" Thom asked excitedly.

"It's too bright," Hiei said.

"I just knew that you would love it!"

"Fool."

"What was that?"

Hiei just stared at him like he was stupid.

"Okay, the reason that I brought you here, is not to look at the couches. Unless you think their pretty and cute as I do."

"Never would I think that they are _cute_," cute coming out as if it was disgusting to say.

"Aww, but they are cute," Ted pouted.

"Anyway, I brought you here to see the coffee tables and those low tables that traditional Japanese people use to eat on," Thom said and pointed towards what he was talking about.

Hiei stared at them and pointed at a coffee table and a low table. "That one and that one. I like those. Now let's go."

"Hold it!" Thom grabbed Hiei's arm when he started to walk back out. "That's it? You chose two tables in five seconds flat and you're not even going to look at the others? You're going to be living with these furniture for like the rest of your life and you're not even going to look at the rest of the selections?! We're designing you're house, the place that you will live in for a very long time, not some painting that you could always throw away."

"Let go of me," Ted did but went in front of Hiei to block his way out. "I don't really care for this kind of stuff. So move or be moved."

Ted glared be did so anyway. Hiei walked back to entrance and out the door. Thom walked at a slower pace than Hiei and said, "Maybe you should have brought him to the other place first."

"Well we're going there now," Ted said. They got out, into the car where Hiei was waiting, and drove out. When they got to they're next destination, Hiei's cold but somewhat bored expression gave a hint of interest. "Hiei, welcome to the furniture store, Gothic."

"Hey Hiei-kun! How was furniture shopping?" Carson asked happily as Hiei walked towards him at a slow, lazy pace. They were outside a huge store and big, wide windows of clothes of all designs.

"Hn. It was too long," he replied.

"Well, it should have been. With what you're white apartment looks like. Seriously, how can you even sleep in a place as empty as a store after a huge clearance sale?"

"Hn."

What was wrong with his apartment? Hiei actually kind of liked his place the way it was. It suited him just fine. But he would never tell anyone that. The emptiness of his place signified that he needed no one because it lacked the necessities that other beings would require to live comfortably. And if he ever felt like he had too much of the Ningen world, he would just simply gather his few belongings and leave. Done in less than 3 minutes and the apartment wouldn't have a trace that someone even lived there.

So the place was perfect for a person just like him. But trees were still so much better than the apartment.

"Well, let's quit standing out here like a pair of lunatics," Carson said merrily and went inside the store.

"You're the lunatic," Hiei mumbled under his breathe which the other didn't hear and followed suit.

Inside, Carson jogged throughout the store while saying, "Come on. We don't have a time of to shop and I really want to talk to you about your clothes. This way."

Hiei followed behind. This pace bored him. He could run this pace during his sleep! He turned his head to the side and saw the cameraman following closely behind. Darn. And he thought that he lost him after he left the other two. After he left the other two, he threw a rock at the camera causing the cameraman to use his grip on the camera. Hiei used the few moments of the distraction to quickly get away. He started jumping on roofs and then started to walk in a slow pace to his next destination confident that the cameraman was out of his hair. Too bad for him that another cameraman was already waiting for him with Carson when he got there. Maybe next he'll use more force. We'll call this cameraman with Carson, cameraman #2.

"Here we are!" Carson announced in a sing song voice when they finally stopped.

Hiei saw clothes. Lots of clothes. He never saw so many clothes in his life. Carson grabbed him by the arm and dragged him forward and began explaining things to him about what's in, how to wear it, and what not to wear. Hiei just block Carson's voice out of his head. Did the guy ever shut up?

"Ohh! This is so cute! And this one too!" Carson exclaimed. "Look at this one!" Carson ran to the other side of the store and picked up a shirt. "So cute. I'm so loving it. What do you think Hiei? Does this make me look fat?"

"Yes," Hiei said blankly.

"What?! It does?! But it looks so cute."

"Then buy it."

"But you said that it made me look fat."

"Then it makes you look skinny."

"How skinny?"

Hiei's eye started to twitch again. "Like a freaking stick! Are you going to buy the stupid shirt or not?!"

Carson pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes as if he was thinking really hard. Then he pressed the shirt up against Hiei's body. "What do you think? Does it make you look fat?"

Hiei's eye twitched faster.

Minutes later, they were in the dressing rooms with a pile of clothes nearby.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"But it's fun."

"I don't care."

"Come on. Try something new. Put this on and model for me."

Twitch.

"It's pink."

"And such a pretty shade of pink too."

"No," Hiei's eye twitched even faster.

"Put the shirt on."

"No."

"How about these pants?"

"Still pink."

"Yes it is. Wanna wear it?"

"No."

"How about this?" Carson brought up a baby blue shirt with a big teddy bear at the back.

"No."

Twitch. Twitch.

"This?" a baggy shirt that said 'I love guys.'

"NO!"

"I think that it's cute."

"Then you buy it!" and the other eye twitches as well.

"If you wear this shirt and matching pants!" Carson held up a bright yellow shirt with XOXO prints on it and green jeans.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

"No!"

"Wear it!"

"No!"

Oh the twitching of the eyes!

"I said wear it!"

"And I said NO!"

"You know, you are starting to piss me off."

"And you are wearing my patience thin, you baka."

"What did you call me?"

"Baka. It means stupid, stupid."

"If this is the way you're gong to be then fine!" Carson threw the clothes he was holding to the floor and slapped Hiei. Hiei looked at Carson in shock and then very, very angrily.

"No one," he took a step forward. "No one ever slaps me," he lunged himself at the taller man and they both went down on the ground in the heap of clothes. When Hiei opened his eyes, for he had closed them when he and Carson fell forward, he saw Carson's mischievous eyes.

"Why Hiei, if you wanted me that badly, all you had to do was ask," Carson said flirtatiously and winked.

Hiei froze when he felt something warm wrap around him. He quickly got up and stood as far away for the other man as he could. If looks could kill, Carson would be dead a 100 times over. Carson got up slowly because he was laughing like a manic. When he finally was able to stand, Hiei punch him hard, causing him to fall in a dead faint once again. Then Hiei turned his attention to cameraman #2 who was backing away slowly from the demon. Hiei used his speed to go behind the guy and knock him out as well.

Then Hiei turned his back and walked calmly out. That felt good. Too bad that he couldn't kill them though. That would have felt even better. Hiei shiver at the memory of what just happened moments before in disgust. He needed a long shower and fresh clothes. And he needed to burn the ones he was currently wearing. His eyes twitched once more before he left the store.

---------- at Hiei's apartment ----------

"Hmm... The pink one or the orange one?" Thom said thoughtfully out loud to himself, looking down at the paint colors on the floor.

He chose a color and started painting to whole apartment. Then the doorbell rang and Thom went immediately to the door.

"Oh good! The furniture is here!"

Men started to bring in the furniture into the freshly painted apartment while Thom directed on where they should go and checked out their butts. When the men left, Thom looked happily at the living room. "These furniture are so cute! Well, better start painting the bedroom before the new bed and shelves arrive!"

In his hands was a bucket of bright pink paint and a scroll of wallpaper with Japanese characters of hugs and kisses.


	4. Killing is good for the soul

AN: okie, its like I said before, this chapter is dedicated to tuathafaerie and Crystal Koneko. Hope you guys like it and everyone else. And thanks to Dark Comet and kuramalover21 as well.

Chapter 4: Killing is good for the soul

Yusuke – Hiei should be grateful that I did this for him. After this is all done, he should be happy that he finally has a place that looks nice to live in.

Shizuru – I don't even think that Hiei knows what the meaning of colors is.

Shuichi – His personality is like a Goth and yet some punk. But he is more an individualist and anti-social.

Yukina – My brother is actually a really nice person. He just doesn't like to show it a lot.

Koenma (former boss) – Who? Hiei? That little punk? What about him? If you want to know about him, I've got all his records right here. (a stack of papers is taken out of a large bag) As you can see from right here, Hiei was almost thrown into jail. But if it weren't for incredible old me, he would have spent the rest of his life in jail. So he should be grateful to me.

Yusuke – Do I get paid for doing this?

Keiko – Bright colors on Hiei? That's an odd picture to see.

Kuwabara – I would pay money, just to see Hiei in pink.

Koenma – Hiei's boss now? She's um... busy at the moment. She's um... sleeping. Yeah, that's right, she sleeping. (On his TV screen is Mukuro killing some demons)

Shuichi – Hiei actually saying a thank you sincerely? If he did that, then I would ask one of the Fab Five for a kiss on the lips.

Botan – Wait, Hiei has an apartment? When did this happen?

----------- with Kyan, Jai, and Hiei ----------

"We're going to the gym! We're going to the gym! We're going to the gym to get buffer! We're going to the gym to see hot guys sweat!" Kyan sang while they were doing a light jog.

"Where we're going is actually called a dojo, not a gym," Jai corrected.

"Oh, okay," Kyan said and then began singing again. "We're going to the dojo! We're going to the dojo! We're going to the dojo to see hot half naked Asian guys! Go hot Asian guys!"

Kill him. Kill him now. Please kill him now.

Hiei didn't know whether if he was the one who wanted to die or to kill the guy man singing.

"Hot Asian guys! Hot Asian guys! How I love hot Asian guys!" Kyan kept singing. "Their big muscles! Their super fast speed! Oh how I would love to be in the arms of a hot Asian guy! So we're going to the dojo to see HOTT ASIAN GUYS!!"

"SHUT UP!" Hiei yelled. He was at his ends limit. His face was red in anger and his hands were at his katana and were dangerously close to be taken out.

"What's the matter Hiei-kun? Don't you like my singing?" Kyan asked.

"Don't call me Hiei-kun!"

"Okay! Hiei-chan!"

"Grrrr."

"Don't like that either, huh? Okay. I got one! Hi-koi!"

Hiei tripped and fell face flat on the ground. Jai busted out laughing. He laughed so much that he too fell on the ground and was rolling. In circles mind you. Kyan just looked at the crazy looking Jai and the pale, paralyzed looking Hiei still on the ground and blinked.

"Was it something I said?"

--------------- at Hiei's apartment ---------------

"He wouldn't put on the pretty clothes that I picked for him and then he punched me!" Carson cried on the shoulder of Thom. Huge tear drops were dropping out of his eyes and his mouth opened wide in a wail.

"There, there, Carson. I'm sure Hiei-kun didn't mean it," Thom patted his back on comfort.

"But that's not the worst of it!" Carson brought his head up and scrunched his face in a dramatic pose. Tears of saddest still running down his eyes. "The worst part was... He didn't even model for me! And I didn't get to tuck his shirt in the jeans that I picked for him!"

Ted and Thom gasped in shock. Carson dropped his head back onto Thom's shoulder and cried loudly. Ted had a thoughtful look on his face and then he pulled some papers out of his pocket and quickly looked through them.

"Here it is!" he yelled in triumph.

"What did you find?" Thom asked curiosity.

"Well, remember those papers that Yusuke gave us in case something happens?"

"Yeah?"

"Well these are it."

"Ooh."

"What does it say about short guys not modeling for me?" Carson asked and then sniffed loudly.

"Hiei will not model for you," Ted read off one of the papers.

"Hmm. Maybe we should have read those papers before I took Hiei out shopping."

"What else does it say?" Thom asked.

"Hiei hates being called short. Hiei hates anything considered cute by definition of girls. Hiei hates everyone. Chances of Hiei punching someone are 20 out of 10. Chances of Hiei losing his temper are 30 out of 10. Hiei runs very, very, very, very, very, very, very fast. Do not ever bring up the subject of family or even worst; never ask him any questions pertaining to family, especially sisters that should not know that she is a sister. If action is done, I cannot/will not protect you against Hiei's black dragon," Ted read.

"I wonder why we shouldn't bring up the topic of family," Thom said in wonder.

"Maybe we should ask him," Carson said.

"Yeah."

"I agree."

"Especially about the whole sister thing," Carson added.

"Yep," both Thom and Ted chorused.

"But what does it mean about the 'black dragon'?" Thom asked.

"Probably a stuff animal."

"A stuff animal? I love stuff animals!" Carson exclaimed. "Let's go look for it!"

"Okay!" both Thom and Ted eagerly agreed.

------------ back to Hiei, Kyan, and Jai ------------

"AAHHHHH!!"

A high pitch scream was heard from several blocks away from the source.

"AAAHHHHHHHH!" Kyan could be seen running a maniac with his arms high in the air and eyes wide.

"Hiei! Please don't kill Kyan!" Jai said in a pathetic attempt to try and not have Hiei kill his friend. So far he wasn't having any luck because he was currently clinging on Hiei's shoulders while the lower part of his body was being flipped wildly into the air and then slammed down onto the ground.

Boy, Hiei sure was fast and strong. He was only three steps from touching Kyan. And Kyan was a very good runner and he could run at a fast pace for a long period of time. But Hiei was an even faster runner and it looked like he hasn't even lost his first wind even though he had been running for the past 20 minutes and what Jai thought, to be his top speed. Kyan was already tired and had been for the past 15 minutes, but the only thing that kept him from stopping was the shear terror of Hiei killing him. The cameraman (cameraman #3), already given up of chasing the three on foot, was currently filming from inside a car that was following them.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Kyan flew past a young man and older woman.

"Please stop!" Hiei and Jai ran past them too. To the woman, it seemed like the three (well two if you think about it) ran like the wind and she thought she caught a glimpsed of someone familiar.

"Shuichi, wasn't that your friend Hiei?" Kurama's mother asked her son as she looked in the direction that the three ran in.

"No, mother. I have never seen those people in my life," Kurama said. _'Looks like Hiei has new friends,'_ he thought.

Kyan couldn't take it anymore. He was dead tired and had to stop. So he did. In front of a very traditional Japanese looking dojo. Kyan dropped in front of gates and Hiei stopped just as he fell. Jai dropped to the ground as well. The lower part of his body was battered. His pants were torn and covered in dirt and his shoes were missing. Both were breathing heavily. Just as Hiei was about to beat the poor gay man, the gates to the dojo opened. An elder man of about 65 or so stepped out.

"So you finally arrived," he said. He took one look at the two on the ground and at the angry looking boy glaring at the men. Notice that it says boy. "I assume that one of you is called Jai?"

"That's... that's me," Jai wheezed out.

"I see. Please, come inside." The man went back inside the dojo. Kyan and Jai both stood up shakily and then dropped back down.

"A little help here?" Kyan asked Hiei.

"Hn." Hiei walked casually inside.

Inside the dojo was other students practicing and all bowed to the elder man as he passed by them. The man slowly led Hiei down the halls and into a room where a small class of late teens and early twenties was practicing. All bowed to the old man as well.

Then the old man turned to Hiei and waited for a moment before speaking. "I am Kapera Taro, the master of this dojo and one of the only four Shihondai living in this dojo as well."

"Kapera, I don't believe that that name is Japanese," Jai said tiredly. He and Kyan had help going inside the dojo and both were currently sitting on the floor and still pale.

"It isn't," Taro replied. "I was adopted by an African couple who moved to Japan. Now you must be Jaganeshi Hiei," he turned back to Hiei. "I say that I expected someone _older_."

"Nani?!"

Kyan and Jai burst out laughing.

"It's the height!" Jai said through giggles.

Taro looked surprised and then looked at Hiei more closely. Hiei's red eyes flared in anger. "Oh. I apologize. I thought that you were a 10 year old boy."

"Grrr."

"My eyes are not what they use to be," Taro continued, ignoring Hiei's growl. "These two men tell that you're quite an accomplished fighter. I would like to see you fight. Taichi-san!" He beckoned to one of the students in the room.

A brown haired man came over. He looked to be about 22 years old and was very tall. He towered over Hiei by two feet. "Hai, Taro-sensei." He bowed to Taro.

"I want you to have a battle with Jaganeshi-san. These two," points to Jai and Kyan, "say that he is very good. I want to see for myself."

"Hai Taro-sensei," Taichi bowed again to his sensei and then smiled half goofy and half mockingly to Hiei. He obviously was underestimating Hiei because of his height. Oh well, his funeral.

As the two walked towards the center of the room and all the others went to the side to not in the fight, Hiei heard Kyan say to Jai, "10 bucks say that this guy knocks Hiei out in 5 minutes."

"Kyan! That's mean!" Jai said in shock. "But make it 15."

"You're on."

"Your friends don't seem to have much confidence in you," Taichi said to Hiei and smirked.

"They weren't my friends," Hiei replied back. His tone and face was blank.

"Shall I go easy on you? I'm one of the best students in my class," Taichi boosted and took his fighting position.

"Hn. Even if you did your best, you'd still lose," Hiei did a light smirk. He didn't even take a fighting stance. This ningen wasn't worth it.

"You asked for it!" Taichi let out a battle cry a swung a punch at Hiei, who only stepped to the side. A bit angered that he missed and a bit impressed too, Taichi did a round house kick. Hiei jumped up to avoid it.

The taller man saw that his opponent was much better than he thought, started to use is full strength and speed. His punches became faster and his kicks harder. Hiei lazily dodged all of these. Taichi than became mad and did an upper cut followed quickly by a side kick. Hiei stepped back from the upper cut and blocked the kick. Taichi really got mad then. He started to punch wildly at Hiei. When he saw that none of his fists connected with the shorter man, he jumped into the air and did a flying kick. Bored with the baka ningen's tactics, Hiei grabbed Taichi's foot from the air and swung him around once and let go. Taichi flew into and through the wall.

"" was Taichi. Cameramen #3 was shaking as he filmed. The other students in the room back away from Hiei as far as they could. Students from the other side the wall peeked in the room from the rather large hole.

"Hi sensei!" a girl waved from the hole.

"Looks like I won 15 bucks," Jai said happily. Kyan groaned in despair and gave Jai his money.

"You are much stronger than I thought," Taro said. "Get me Kouji!"

All of the students' head snapped up from hearing the name. Whispers broke through from the students.

"Who's Kouji?" Kyan asked Taro.

"Kouji is the best swordsman that this school has ever seen," one the students answered for Taro. "He even beaten Taro-sensei and is another Shihondai living in this dojo. Although he is still young, he is very accomplished."

'_The best swordsman this school has ever seen, huh? We'll see about that,'_ Hiei thought to himself.

Soon a young man of about 24 came into the room and bowed in respected to Taro, "You called me?" He was of medium height, black haired, and had a wooden sword in his hand.

"Hot Asian guy!" Kyan half whispered and half yelled in delight at the sight of Kouji.

"Yes, Kouji. This is Janganeshi Hiei. He has recently beaten Taichi-san very easily. He is very good in fighting and I was told that he was even better at fighting with a sword. I was wondering if you would like to have a spar with him."

Kouji looked at the large hole in the wall and then at Hiei. He was measuring Hiei out from appearance. The only thoughts that ran through his head were, _'Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy. Small guy.'_

Hiei glared daggers at him. He had heard the other guy's thought. This guy was going to die.

"Okay," Kouji said. "I will spar with you." he moved towards the center of the room and in front of Hiei who was waiting.

"Hiei-kun! Here!" Kyan tossed a wooden sword to Hiei, who caught it easily. Hiei swung the wooden 'stick' once to get the feel of it. It was much lighter than his trusty katana hidden in his clothes. Hiei thought about just using his katana inside, but then thought against it. It wouldn't be fair to the ningen for him to use a real sword. Then again, it wasn't even fair now for the ningen since he was using a weapon to spare with him. But who said that it had to be fair when the ningen was going to die for call him small?

Kouji took a stance. "Are you ready?"

Hiei dully held up the wooden 'stick' in an attack position. Kouji frowned at Hiei's casual stance.

"Do not be fooled by such carelessness!" Taro warned Kouji. "Jaganeshi-san is confident in his abilities and has every right to be. I have seen what he could do. He is very good in what he does."

Kouji's eyes became guarded upon hearing the words of his former master. Unlike Taichi, Kouji let Hiei take the first move. Hiei smirked at the ningen's foolish move. He came at Kouji at a slow pace, which was fast to everyone else, and strike at Kouji with the wooden 'stick'. Kouji barely managed to block it. He gasped in surprise. He didn't expect Hiei to move so fast.

In 5 seconds flat, Kouji was on the floor with his eyes in swirls, unconscious, and his wooden sword in pieces. Everyone had their jaws wide open and down on the ground. Including Taro. Their eyes were huge as saucers and their expressions shock in disbelief. Hiei calmly dropped the wooden 'stick' to the ground and walked out of the dojo. Jai and Kyan (who reluctantly followed because he was still staring at Kouji and some other guys who were of late 20s) followed behind with cameraman #3 at their trial.

One hour later at the dojo, everyone was still staring at the spot where Hiei had stood. Kouji was still out cold.

-------------- at Studio 17 -------------

"Please Hiei. Please get a hair cut. Please!" Kyan pleaded with Hiei. His was hugging Hiei's legs and making puppy dog eyes at him.

Hiei looked at him in disgust. ALL gay ningens were weird. No. Forget weird. All gay ningen are ANNOYING and BIZARRE and FREAKS!

Hiei tried to move a step forward without falling. Five minutes later, Hiei had moved a total of 5 centimeters. Kyan's hold on him became tighter. Hiei tried kicking him away but his legs wouldn't move. Then he tried to punch the man on his legs, but Jai jumped on his back before he could.

Now he had two gay men on him. One on his legs and one on his back. He growled. This was not a good day. Then he tried moving again. Five minutes later, Hiei had moved a total of 2 centimeters. Cameraman #3 was having a field day.

"Please! PWEESSEE! Just one inch and I'll be happy!" Kyan cried in desperation.

"FINE!" Hiei snapped. He was irritated to the point where he would do almost anything to make them stop. "I'll do it! I'll get my hair cut. But one inch. Any more than that and you die."

"Yay!" Kyan jumped up in happiness. He and Jai slapped their hands in the air. Hiei growled once and stalked into the hair salon called Studio 17. Kyan and Jai following behind him.

"Cut only an inch," Hiei told the hair stylist. The hair stylist, who was a woman, looked at Kyan who nodded in agreement.

So the hair stylist began to wet Hiei's hair first. Then she squirted shampoo onto her hands and brought it to Hiei's hair. It was so soft, even when it was wet. She then covered his hair in shampoo foam. His hair was so soft. She massaged his scalp and ran her fingers through his hair. So soft. She looked down at Hiei's face and saw that he was staring at her coldly. She blushed and quickly rinsed his hair. Then she blow dried it and ran her fingers quickly through it again.

"Stop doing that," Hiei snapped at her. She blushed even harder.

"Is there something wrong?" Kyan asked coming up to them.

The woman brought Kyan aside and said, "His hair is... so soft."

Kyan looked at her strangely before he too ran his fingers through Hiei's hair. His eyes widen in wonder and then he went to Jai. "Jai, feel Hie-chan's hair. It's so soft."

Jai went to where Hiei was sitting, there was no mirror in front of him, and Jai also ran his fingers through Hiei's hair. Then Kyan followed suit and so too did the hair stylist. Cameraman #3, curious what the big deal was with Hiei's hair, also ran his fingers through Hiei's hair. It was so freaking soft!

Hiei, on the other hand, felt something go through his hair for quite a while now. It was getting very disturbing. Wait, scratch that, it _was _disturbing. So he jolted up from his seat, to see four people's hands out stretched to where his head was. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?!"

"Hehe... Would you believe us, if we said nothing?" Kyan said weakly.

The katana came out.

"Who would have thought that hair that sticks up in the air was so soft," Jai commented before he and the other three ran for their lives.


	5. New house look, do you like?

Chapter 5: New house look, do you like?

"Do you think he's still mad at us?" Jai whispered to Kyan as they slowly walked down the block.

Hiei was in front of them by about 20 feet away and had warned them not to go anywhere near him than the distance that he placed between them. Jai and Kyan were walking slowly behind him in fright and the cameraman (who is now designated as cameraman #4 since the last cameraman was no where to be found) walked behind them.

Kyan looked at Hiei's back and the way Hiei walked. It was the type of walked that said 'Don't mess with me' and a 'Don't go near me' mixed in one.

"Just a little."

"I hope that Thom is done painting Hiei's apartment by now," Jai said thoughtfully.

"I'm pretty sure that he should be done by now. It's only what? 3:55? Six hours was plenty of time for Thom to decorate his apartment," Kyan answered.

"That is very true. I wonder what color Thom used this time. Brown?"

"Nah. I didn't see him bring over his special brown paint."

"But he did buy that lovely wall paper yesterday."

"The one with the little bear prints on it?"

"That's the one."

"Oh I love that one! Think that he used it on Hiei's apartment?"

"Thom was excited to use it after he bought it. So he most likely did."

"What color were the bears again?"

"Pink. And it has little hearts on it too, remember?"

Hiei, being a demon, had a very good sense of hearing, heard what the two were talking about. His apartment was going to look like a little girl's room. A HUMAN little girl's room. He would not stand for it. He WILL not stand for it. He should do something. Like right now. So he hastily ran to his apartment, leaving Jai and Kyan in the dust. When they noticed what Hiei had done, they too ran after Hiei.

They wanted to be there when Hiei got back to the apartment and they also wanted to see his face on how good looking it was going to be. So with this in mind, they ran like the wind, quite fast surprising for two guys that got beat up by a little man and all the running they had done before.

---------- Hiei's apartment -----------

"It's almost time!" Ted said with anxiousness. He jumped up and down in excitement.

"I know. I know. I'm almost done," Thom said. He got out of the bedroom and threw out what it appeared to be some scraps of pink wallpaper that was used.

"I hope Hi-chan will like it," Carson said. He clapped his hands as if getting rid of dirt on them.

"Me too. I did a lot of work on his apartment. So he better like it," Thom said. His hands were formed into fists and he dramatically looked up, while on top of a rocky hill in the middle of a splashing ocean.

"I thought that I was supposed to be the drama queen," Carson pouted.

"Don't worry, you'll get your chance with the next straight guy," Ted said and patted his back. Carson smiled in response.

"So anyway, are we all done here?" Thom said as he took a last minute look at the living room that was now filled with stuff.

"Closet is filled with new clothes, shoes, and boots. There will finally be some color in subject's bleak life," Carson said sternly. It was all about fashion to him.

"The kitchen has pots, pans, more than one eating utensil, and the frigid actually has food in it besides the ice cream. I especially stocked it up on energizing foods and health foods," Ted said in a military-like voice and even saluted to Thom who saluted back in return.

"Good. I have done the bedroom, living, and Kyan has done the bathroom before meeting up with subject. All that is left for us to do it wait upon subject's arrival."

Operation make new life for Hiei was almost complete.

----------- back with Hiei and others ----------

'_Just two more blocks and I'm there' _Hiei thought to himself. To say that he was scared was almost an understatement. He didn't not want his apartment looking like a little ningen's room. He reluctantly admitted to himself that he had grown attached to the place and had no desire to see it in any other way. But he rather hug the oaf than admit that to Yusuke. Much less _thank _him.

Half a block and he was there. But of course, Hiei couldn't just be left alone for ten minutes without someone getting in his way. Or on him. Which ever comes first. So with unbelievable speed, Kyan and Jai had managed to catch up with Hiei and jumped on him and brought him to the ground before he could get inside the small apartment complex. Their secret for getting there so fast: car. Diver: cameraman #4. Owner of car: unknown even to the ones who drove/ride in it.

Hiei was not happy.

"There you are!" Kyan said hugging Hiei from atop him. He was on Hiei's back while the front side of Hiei, including his head, was kissing the ground. "Don't you ever scare us like that again! What if some evil demons kidnap you! Then I wouldn't know what to do!"

Jai got up from his position on Hiei and had a rolled up magazine in his hands and swatted Hiei on his head just as he was trying to bring his head up to glare at them. "That was very mean Hiei-kun. Running off like that without a word to us. Do that again and we'll take away your sword privileges."

Hiei growled and roughly push Kyan off of him and glared at the two of them. Then he stalked into the building with Kyan and Jai skipping merrily behind him. In the elevator, the two men sang happy tunes such as Mary had a little lamb, O'MacDoneld, and Bingo was his name Oh. It was the longest elevator ride Hiei ever had. Why didn't the elevator reach its destination already! He only lived on the 6th floor!

Then a thought hit him. He smirked. The two men were holding each other's hands while going in circles with Hiei in the middle and singing Ring around the rosy for the second time. "Do you know what the rhyme Ring around the Rosy really means?"

"No. What does it mean?" Jai asked curiously while he and Kyan stopped and unclasped their hands. Ring around the rosy was a favorite childhood song of his.

"It really describes the bubonic plague."

"The what?" Kyan asked confused. What did a plague have to do with such a merry song?

"Ring around the rosy is about the bubonic plague. Or the Black Death as it is more commonly know," a sinister smile was on his lips.

"You're lying!" Jai announced. No song of his was supposed to be about a bad thing! Not such a happy song!

"Oh but it's true," Hiei smirked. "'Ring around the rosy' means the rings that the people with the disease have on their rotting bodies. Black spots. 'Pocket full of poesies' meant that they all had their pockets full of the flowers poesies, in hopes of curing their illness. Of course that worked like a charm." Heavy sarcasm was in his voice for the last sentence.

"Stop! I don't want to hear anymore! You're lying!" Jai had his hands covering his ears and his eyes closed tightly shut. "Lalala. I can't hear you and if I can't hear you then it must not be true. Lalala."

Hiei's smirk grew bigger. "But you should hear what the last part means."

Jai cracked open one of his eyes. "What does it mean?"

"Well you do the math. How many people do you know survived from the Black Death? Ashes, ashes, they all fall down." Hiei half sang the last part and laughed with menace at Jai's horrified face and Kyan's shocked one.

"NNOOOO! It can't be true!" Jai cried. "I loved that song!"

"Believe it."

"NNNOOOOO!"

"It's okay Jai," Kyan said reassuringly to the crying man and patted his back. "I'm sure that Hiei-kun was just teasing. Right Hiei-kun?"

Hiei only smirked.

"Ne? Hiei-kun?" Kyan asked again hopefully.

"Sure I was." Jai looked up hopefully.

"But then again, I'm not a teaser," an evil smirk.

"WAAAA!"

Then the elevator finally opened to the 6th floor with a ding.

----------- at Hiei's apartment -----------

"They're almost here! They're almost here!" Carson exclaimed.

"No more dust. There's no more dust right?" Thom said while holding onto a feather duster and looking for any dust.

"No dust. No plain clothes. And no empty space. We're done," Ted announced.

A knock came from the door. The three of them ran to the door and quickly opened it to find dusty, dirty, and one torn clothe men. Excluding the cameraman of course. The three inside the apartment gasped in shocked. Hiei's clothes were covered in dust and dirt from the galumphing. Kyan and Jai's clothes were dirty and dusty from way before. Mainly from all the running that they did. Jai's clothes were also torn from banging in sidewalk and hanging onto Hiei's shoulder.

"What happened to you?" Carson asked. Hiei scowled and pushed pass him into the apartment, leaving Jai and Kyan to answer him.

"What happened to Hiei-kun was that his body was having a hot steaming affair with the ground," Kyan answered. "Then the ground's husband, Mr. Magazine, came home."

"But that doesn't explain you two," Ted pointed out.

"We just had an educational affair with a katana," Jai said. He was clearly over the fact about the Ring around the rosy. Then again, he still wasn't sure if Hiei was making it up or not.

"Oh really? What did you learn?"

"Never have an affair with a katana. You'll only end up getting hurt."

"That is so true," Thom said.

They all began walking farther into the apartment and then stopped because Hiei was looking at his apartment with shock. To which he tried to hide when he noticed that there were people looking at him. His once white, empty apartment was now a colored, filled one. Instead of the white walls, it was a light blue with a lighter brown wood frame. There were two long couches in the living room and a loveseat that were all black. A low coffee table was in between the long couches. It was a dark brown, oak wood. In front of the coffee table was a large, flat screen TV. A rocking chair was near the window. There was a table next to the entrance of the kitchen that could sit six people.

"So? What do you think?" Thom asked excitedly. He really wanted to know what Hiei thought of this. The others looked at his face with anticipation. Sweat was rolling down their foreheads. Hiei's face was blank. Then, the tinniest of smiles ever to have been made, hardly even a smile at all, was formed from Hiei's lips.

"Yeah!"

"Alright!"

"Hiei-chan likes it!"

"YAY!"

"He likes it! He really likes it!" the Fab Five celebrated by slapping each other's backs, hugging, and everything else expect touching Hiei.

"Bakas," Hiei said looking at them while they celebrated. He went into the bedroom, wanting to know how it looked like now.

It was a dark red, almost like the color of his eyes. And there was a bed there. A large bed with red sheets and a large black dragon embroider on the center. Hiei went up to the bed and traced the dragon with his finger tips. It almost looked like his Dragon of the Darkness Flame. It was beautiful. He brought up his head to look around the room. There were two lamp tables on either side of the front of the bed with a lamp on each table. On top of the bed, hung a large painting of a dragon with flames all around it. On the wall opposite to that, was his katanas displayed on the wall.

"Do you like it?" Thom asked excitedly. "I had a feeling that you would like dragons. So I had this especially made just for you!" He gestured towards the dragon on the bed and on the wall.

Silence.

Hiei stared.

Thom coughed expectantly.

"Hn."

"The least you could do is say thank you," Thom said.

"Whatever," Hiei walked to his closet, interested in knowing what was in there. Carson bounced in after him.

On one side of the closet, was like a rainbow. There were so many different kinds of shirts that were colorful. It gave a whole new meaning to the word color. Hiei squinted at the brightness of it. On the other side of the closet was like a black blob.

"Do you like?" Carson questioned and went to the rainbow section of the closet. "You didn't have a lot of color in your clothes, so I took the liberty of buying you non-black ones. And the black clothes that you so love are on the other side of the closet. I arranged this just for you. You could wear this green shirt for a casual party or this yellow one if you want to. And there's this light red one that would bring out your eyes that you wear for everyday use. And this one too. And this one..."

Carson kept drowning on and on and on. This shirt for this event. That pants for that event. This shirt paired up with that one but not with those pants. Hiei just blocked Carson's voice out of his head. He really didn't care how to dress sharp. And this continued on for a while until Carson finally stopped talking and pushed Hiei out towards the kitchen where Ted was waiting for him.

The kitchen was different too. It was still white, but there was a toaster oven, pots, and the other kitchen stuff that wasn't there before. Plus some ingredients out and in front of Thom who was waiting expectantly for Hiei.

"Now, for your guests tonight, you're going to make-" Ted began but was interrupted by Hiei.

"Wait. You mean that I have to make the food for the stupid party that I didn't want in the first place for the guests that I don't want coming?" Hiei asked.

"Well, yes."

Hiei should be angry at that. He really should have. He was being made into a servant for people like that likes of Kuwabara. He was _cooking _for them. For _him_. The baka. For him to eat. And for Yusuke. He should be mad. He really should be mad. He should glaring at Ted and muttering evil plots to get revenge. But he wasn't. Hiei smiled evilly and paid close attention to what Ted was saying.

Hiei went to the bathroom where Kyan was waiting a few minutes later. The bathroom was basically still the same expect for the red and blue towels and a shower curtain. There was also some stuff on the sink that Hiei didn't recognize.

"Okay, these products right here is for your hair," Kyan said picking up one the bottles.

"My hair?" Hiei asked confused. Why did he need several bottles of whatever that stuff was on his hair?

"Yes, you hair," Kyan pointed to his gravity defying hair. "This one is to keep you hair staying soft." Hiei growled. "This one is to help you hair stay strong. This one is to help you hair become shinny. And this one is to help bring you hair facing towards the ground."

"I don't want that one."

"Why not?"

"My hair is fine the way it is."

"But it might look cute when it's all down," Kyan pouted. This was so déjà vu.

"No."

"Fine, be that way," Kyan huffed at Hiei. "But you're using this deodorant." He tossed Hiei a small blue deodorant bottle thing.

Hiei looked at him with a raised eye brow and then at Kyan. "Are you trying to say I smell?"

His words may seem like they were meant in amusement, but his tone and facial expression was anything but. Kyan made a noise that sounded like whimpering before answering.

"No. NO. Never. It's just that..."

"That?" Hiei's cold voice made Kyan step back a step.

"You know, when you go to the gym or dojo, you wouldn't want to smell. And that's not good for trying to get the attention of someone special in a good way. And since you didn't have one, I thought that I'd buy one for you," Kyan smiled uneasily.

"I see," Hiei mused.

Kyan stood awkwardly. He really didn't know what to do next without causing him more pain and beatings from the shorter person. Let's see, the hair products were already done and explained, the skin products he didn't need, so that left the bath products!

"I almost forgot. Kyan snapped his fingers then he open the new shower curtains and took out some more bottles. "This one is for your hair as well."

"More hair stuff?!" Hiei yelled.

"Yes! This one is shampoo for you hair. And this one is for conditioner. This one is body soap to revitalize you body if you're doing a quick shower. And this one is for when you take long bathes, which I suggest that you do more often since you seem to have a temper problem. It's supposed to help relieve stress."

"The only thing that causes stress is you."

"Well I'm glad that you think that I had such an impact on your life."

"And I would gladly impact a punch to your face."

"But that wouldn't be right."

"Who ever said that I cared if was right or not?"

"Me. And besides, you got any hot Asian friends coming to your house warming?"

Hiei stared at Kyan oddly. Then he walked out of the bathroom muttering bad things about gay ningens under his breath. Next up was Jai who was waiting for him at the living room and sitting on one of the long coaches. Jai patted the seat next to Hiei, indicating that he should sit there. Hiei sat back on the opposite coach across form Jai.

"So, are you excited about tonight? Are you nerves?" Jai asked excitedly.

"You have more than enough feelings of excitement for the both of us," Hiei said indifferently.

"That's it? But aren't you nerves that you're going to ask the person you love for a date?" Jai asked confused.

"I WHAT?!" Hiei sat up straight. "Who ever said that I was going to attempt the first step in the mating ritual by courting her?!"

"Mating ritual? Such barbaric terms for this day and age. But Yusuke said that you would tell this someone special that you love her."

"Yusuke," Hiei growled. Yusuke was defiantly going to pay.

Jai looked at the growling man with dark eyes. No doubt planning evil plans against Yusuke. He instantly felt sorry for Yusuke. But better Yusuke than him. Then his eyes lit up in realization.

"I almost forgot," he went to where a backpack was lying on top of the table and took out something from it. He gave it to Hiei. "I know that most people have trouble telling the ones they love how they feel. So I thought that this would help you."

What he gave Hiei was a small black bear holding an even smaller heart that said "I love you" in beautiful calligraphy.

"You're joking right?" Hiei asked but was still looking at the bear.

"Nope. Cute isn't it?" Jai grinned happily.

"Hn," Hiei put the bear down and set a look of indifference on his face. But in his mind he was actually considering the possibility of it.

"Are we all done here?" Ted asked with high spirits and sat down next to Hiei. The rest of the Fab Five followed suit.

"Oh. What a cute bear," Carson said and picked up the bear.

"It's for Hiei's someone special," Jai explained.

"She is one lucky girl," Thom commented.

"Let's hope that she's a strong enough girl to handle you Hiei-kun," Kyan said and they all chuckled.

Hiei just looked to the side. "Hn."

"Well, it's time for us to go. Let's go boys!" Carson gave the bear a hug before getting up.

"Good luck Hiei-kun."

"Don't forget to shower!"

"Oh and we'll be coming to the party as well. You know, just because we've never been to a Japanese party before and because we want to see some of your other friends in person."

"Nani?!"

"See you later Hiei!"

And the door closed. Leaving Hiei and the black bear alone in the apartment. And cameraman #4 filming Hiei.

_'Must not kill,' _Hiei thought to himself. _'Killing would put me in Renkai prison. Mukuro's heir or not. Must not kill. Maybe tortuor, but not kill.'_

Sudedenly, Hiei couldn't wait for the party to start.


	6. The Party

AN: in no order,tothis person - actually, you're right. I forgot to mention that in the last chapter. But thank you for bringing it up.

Pat - Yes, it's true. The QES has survived another chapter. But I can't say that they'll stay that way in the next chapter.

Janay - Really? You really like my story that much? Thank you. I'm usually a drama writer and writing a humor one is quite new to me. Gald thatI could do this well.

Hiei's Ice Maiden - Botan is coming up in this chapter.

Crystal Koneko- Thank you! The Party is just about to start in this chapter.

tuathafaerie - And once again, thank you! Man, you leave such long reviews. But that doesn't mean that I don't love them! ::Hugs:: Since Ted is your favorite character in QE, I may not have Hieikill him. Still thinking about that.

Thank you everyone!

P.S. Anyone got any good names for dogs?

Chapter 6: The Party

Hiei stayed where he was on the coach for a few minutes longer. The party that they had planned wouldn't be until 6:30. So that gave him less than two hours to prepare for it. Of course he could always just lock the door and not let them in. But then the Fab Dorks would just find another way in or Kurama would pick the lock. And he couldn't really leave the apartment, or else Yusuke would do something stupid to it. So Hiei was stuck.

Hiei heard someone shuffling their feet on the floor. He opened his eyes and crocked his head to the side to see cameraman #4. He had forgotten about him. He gave a small smirk to him. The cameraman started to sweat. Then the camera showed static. Hiei calmly walked back into his bedroom.

Just as he reached the bedroom, the front door flew open with a loud **BANG!**

"I can't believe that I forgot!" Carson's voice was heard from the door and the sound of footsteps quickly coming closer to Hiei was then heard. Then, Hiei's room was filled with five gay men once again and a new cameraman. Cameraman #5. Hiei briefly wondered where they got all these cameramen while Carson pulled him into the walk in closet.

"What are you all doing?! I thought that you all left me alone already!" Hiei yelled while Carson took some clothes off the racks.

Carson didn't seem to hear him for he was muttering under his breath angrily. "I can't believe that I forgot! That is soo not like me. And this of all things!"

"What are you talking about?!" Hiei yelled at the blond man and smacked the clothes that were in his hands to get his attention. Today was just not his day.

Carson just blinked in surprise. It was like he forgot that Hiei had been standing there the whole time. "I forgot that you had to model for us."

"Nani?!"

"Are you guys almost done in there? We want to see a show!" a voice called out from the bedroom.

"Yeah! Come on! Model for us!"

Someone blew a shrill whistle in suggestion.

Hiei felt his eye twitch. "I told you before. I'm not modeling for you."

"Yes you will," Carson said with determination. "You didn't get to before but you will now!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes, yes, yes! Hiei Jaganeshi, you are going to model for us whether you like to or not!" Not wanting to go through with what happened in the store earlier; Carson took a shirt from the rack and tried to forcefully put it on Hiei.

But Hiei would not let Carson make him put on that shirt without a fight. So while the shirt was just above his head, he raised his arms in an attempt to stop it. But Carson would not be swayed and he put more force in bringing down the shirt down Hiei's head. Hiei had to admit that he was quite strong for a human. He did manage to bring the shirt down Hiei's head, were it was stuck. And I mean literally stuck.

Hiei pulled at the shirt upwards. It didn't move. Carson pushed the shirt downwards, it still didn't more. Hiei pulled and Carson pushed. The scene did not look right. And the shirt still did not move either way.

"What size shirt is this?" Hiei growled. It was funny how the neck hole of a shirt could be stuck on a person's head. Even funnier was how it was stuck where Hiei's eyes was.

"Extra, extra, extra small," Carson replied. "Maybe I should have gotten something a little bigger."

"Maybe you should have!" Hiei yelled angrily.

"Well it's a good thing that that's the only shirt I bought in that size," Carson said brightly.

"What's taking so long?" another person called from the bedroom.

"Yeah. Come out and model!"

"Model! Model! Model!" they all chanted.

"You heard them. They want a show," Carson said smugly.

Hiei snarled in frustration and ripped the shirt apart so he was free from it. Carson stared at him in wonderment and was very impressed. He was kind of attractive to him now. Oblivious to Carson's new found crush, Hiei took him by the shirt, dragged him out of the closet to the bedroom where the others were, who groaned in sadness of not having to see a fashion show, (and quite surprisingly to them, for Hiei is such a small guy) Hiei carried them all like bunch of hay stacks over his shoulders, and threw them out one by one out the apartment door. He didn't toss them out none too gently either.

Then Hiei slammed the door shut on all of them.

"Think he wanted to be alone?" he heard one of them say from the other side of the door.

Hiei let out another frustrated growl. He was stressed out. He decided to take a bath like Kyan had suggested. It sounded good now. Hiei walked into the bath and turned on the water on the tub. As the water was filling up, Hiei stripped off his shirt. When he was about to take off his pants as well, he sensed someone behind him. He turned around and saw cameraman #5.

How could he always forget about him? Or the other cameramen? Hiei sighed in frustration once more.

Outside in the apartment hall, an elder woman was tiredly walking back to her apartment after a long hard day. Suddenly, a man holding a camera was thrown right in front in her feet.

"Hot dog!" she said energetically. She grabbed the man and hugged him tight. "I knew that all that praying would get me a man who'd bow down to me."

In the apartment, Hiei was relaxing in the tub, thinking about the bear in the living room.

------- an hour and a half later -------

**BANG! BANG!**

"Hiei! Open up!" Yusuke's voice could be heard from outside the door.

"Yusuke, be more patient. We've only just got here," Kurama said holding a potted plant.

"But you know how long Hiei takes to answer the door. We'll be here all night!" Kuwabara whined. "For all of his speed, shorty takes years to open the door."

Kurama just sighed. The three of them wanted to go to Hiei's housing warming party ahead of the girls because they wanted to "clean" the place. Just as a precaution for if something had happened to the humans. They didn't want the girls to see blood on the floor.

"Open the door!" Yusuke yelled one more time before Hiei opened the door and letting Kuwabara fall to the floor inside the apartment because he was leaning on the door.

"Baka," Hiei greeted them and went farther in the apartment.

"Ow," Kuwabara said picking himself up from the floor but Yusuke just walked on him before he could fully get up. Kurama, taking pity on Kuwabara, helped him up. As they went inside Hiei's house, they all stopped dead in their tracks. Much like Hiei did before.

"Wow," Kuwabara said.

"It's not white," Yusuke said. Then he jumped up and yelled, "IT'S NOT WHITE! AND IT'S FILLED TOO!!"

"Very nice Hiei," Kurama said and put down the plant on the table. He went over to the rocking chair and sat down. "This is very good workmanship. I think I'm jealous of you right now."

Hiei smirked proudly. He liked the rocking chair too. It reminded him of his tree.

"No way!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "Shorty has a huge flat screen TV!" he turned on the TV to look at its digitally enhanced images. "And it's got digital cable with over 900 channels! And a DVD and tape player and includes a Play Station system, a CD player, a Gamecube, and these other cool things!"

"Have you seen the bedroom?!" Yusuke said running out of it. "It's so cool! I want the Fad Five to come to my house!"

"Me too!" Kuwabara nodded in agreement.

Kurama was just fingering the rocking chair in admiration. A plan formulating in his head.

"Do you guys smell that?" Yusuke asked. He sniffed the air. "It makes good."

Kuwabara also sniffed the air. "Yeah. Real good."

"Hiei, are you making us food?" Kurama asked.

Hiei shrugged. "So what if I am?"

Yusuke's and Kuwabara's jaws hit the floor. "You are?! Seriously?!"

"It's only a snack," Hiei muttered. But inside he was pleased. He just had to wait until the food was ready.

"Are you feeling alright?" Yusuke asked and felt Hiei's forehead.

Hiei smacked it away. "I'm fine."

"So, you're grateful?" Yusuke grinned victoriously. "Come out and say it. I know that you want to thank me for this great plan of mine."

Hiei glared and went into his bedroom. "Not in your life."

"You're welcome Hiei!" Yusuke called after him.

By the window, Kurama threw out some seeds and watched them slowly grow.

Then the door bell rang. Yusuke decided to get it since the resident of the apartment was in his bedroom. On the other side of the door were the Fad Five and cameraman #6. (AN: Yay! The cameraman number finally caught up with the chapter number.)

"So, how do you guys like the place?" Thom asked once they all were in the living room.

"You did an excellent job," Yusuke said.

"See, I told you that they'd like it Jai," Thom said.

But Jai didn't respond.

"Jai?" Thom asked. But Jai was looking at the corner where a nervous Kurama was standing.

The rest of the Fab Five stared at Kurama as well. Kurama smiled at them nervously. He saw hungry looks in their eyes. He swore that one of them was panting in heat. He took a step back. The Fab Five took three big steps forward. He took another step back and his back hit the wall. The Fab Five took another three large steps forward. There were only four more steps between them. Kurama looked pleadingly at Yusuke and Kuwabara. But they were too busy looking at Hiei's cool looking new apartment to notice what was happening with him. Kurama whimpered in fear.

Fortunately for Kurama, Hiei decided to come out of his bedroom. The Fab Five gasped in shock and admiration at Hiei's outfit. They all ran towards him, but Jai lingered where he was for a few moments. He winked at Kurama, he eyes promising Kurama that they will get to know each very well later. Kurama wanted to jump out of the window and run to his mother.

"Look at you Hiei. All nicely dressed up. And not a black thread on you," Yusuke said to Hiei.

Hiei was wearing a light blue polo shirt with dark jeans. On his forehead was his customarily head band that covered his Jagan Eye.

Ted whistled at him. "You look hot."

"Indeed he does," Kyan said.

"Doesn't he?" Carson said and stepped proudly besides Hiei. He put an arm around Hiei, but Hiei snarled at him. So Carson quickly took his arm away.

"Wow Hiei. You look really good," Yusuke said. "You feel grateful to me now?"

"No," Hiei said.

The door bell rang, and again Yusuke went to get it.

"It's show time," Ted said.

At the door was Keiko. In her hands was a big pot. "I hope that I'm not late."

"No, you're just on time," Yusuke gave her a smile and let her in.

"Your apartment looks really nice Hiei," Keiko said. "I brought this with me for your party. Its roast beef stew."

"Alright! We'll have a feast tonight!" Yusuke yelled. Keiko's roast beef stew was famous.

As Keiko and the Fab Five were introducing themselves to each other, Kuwabara found something interesting sitting at the corner of one of the couches. He picked it up and grinned evilly.

"Hey everybody! Look at what I got! Hiei's got a stuff bear!"

"What? No way!" Yusuke went to him and examine the bear. "Haha! Hiei has a stuff bear! What are you? A little girl? The big bad Hiei has a stuffed animal! And it's a little cute one at that. HAHAH! "

"That bear is for Hiei's someone special," Jai said.

"Oh reeeally," Yusuke slyly said. "No wonder it says "I love you" on a heart."

Hiei snatched the bear away from Yusuke who only laughed hysterically. Hiei blushed. "Oh look, little Hiei's blushing! Hi I'm Hiei and I'm in loooove," Yusuke said in a high pitched voice.

Hiei blushed once more in anger and chased Yusuke all around the apartment.

"AAHHH!"

"DIE YUSUKE!"

Keiko, having no idea who Hiei likes, thought that Hiei must like someone who is coming to the party tonight. Since it obviously wasn't her, or else Hiei would have given her the bear by now, it had to be either Yukina, Shizuru, or Botan. (AN: Remember, she doesn't know that Yukina is his sister.) Keiko deducted that it must be Yukina since Hiei was the nicest to her the most. It couldn't be Botan because he often calls her "baka onna" and neither Shizuru because Kurama was courting her. So that just left Yukina.

Keiko thought it sweet that Hiei had a crush on Yukina. They would look cute together. They were the same height, both demons, had the same eye color, and looked oddly alike. The Keiko idly wondered if they were related. Cousins maybe? They couldn't be brother and sister because Yukina was an ice demon and Hiei was fire.

While Keiko was wondering about Hiei and Yukina's relationship or future relationship, Kurama was busy trying to run away from Jai. What was even more distressing for him was that Kyan decided to join the chase after Kurama as well.

"Hot Asian guy! My name's Kyan. I'm 28 years old (AN: Making this up.), I live in New York, and I could style hair!" Kyan called out to Kurama as they went around the apartment for the fifth time. Kurama doing everything he can to get rid of them politely.

"That's really nice to know but-"

"I know that I'm a little older than you, but I think that we could work something out," Jai said.

"Please if you would let me-" Kurama tired explaining, but was cut off by Kyan.

"Hot Asian guy! I'm cute! You should really hook up with me!"

"No! He should hook up with me!" Jia yelled to his friend/rival. They were getting closer and closer to Kurama. Kurama really, really wanted his mother right now.

"You don't even know his name!"

"Neither do you!"

"Yes I do! It's... it's...."

"Oh great. I got fan boys who don't even know my name," Kurama muttered to himself as he kept running away from them.

"Hot Asian guy! What's your name?" Kyan asked.

"I bet its something cool like Aikido," Jai said.

"What kind of name is Aikido?"

The doorbell rang again. This time, it was Kuwabara who answered it since Yusuke was being chased by Hiei, Kurama by Kyan and Jai, and Keiko was talking politely to Thom and Ted. Carson was just taking pictures of everything going around him and cameraman #6 was filming.

"Yukina my love!" Kuwabara said enthusiastically. With Yukina were Shizuru and Genkai. Each had their own pot of food in their hands. "Let me get that for you, my sweet angel." Kuwabara took the small pot from Yukina.

"And what about us?" Shizuru muttered. She rolled her eyes at her brother.

"You look so beautiful tonight, Yukina," Kuwabara told Yukina as he se the pot down. Shizuru and Genkai did the same.

At this time, Hiei saw Kuwabara flirting with Yukina. His blood started to boil at the mere sight of Kuwabara talking sweetly to Yukina. He stopped chasing Yusuke and stalked to where Kuwabara was. On his way, he shoved the bear into Shizuru's hands and was about to punch Kuwabara when Carson, Ted, and Thom intercepted him.

"Oh look, Hiei's jealous," Ted said. "Isn't that cute?"

"Yeah, won't let anyone go between this lovely young woman and him," Carson said.

"Kuwabara, why don't you stop flirting with her? Hiei is in love with her," Ted said.

"Hiei? In love with Yukina?" Kuwabara said. Then he started to get mad. "You leave my Yukina alone! She's too innocent and pure for the likes of you!"

"You baka ningen! I should kill you!" Hiei sneered. He reached to get his katana, but then he realized that he left it in the bedroom. Kuwabara was lucky. He'll just have to kill the oaf with his bare hands then.

Yukina didn't think that Hiei loving her was weird. After all, they were siblings. She loved Hiei too.

"No, no, no. Hiei is not in love with your Yukina," Thom said. "Hiei is in love her." He pointed to Shizuru.

Shizuru looked at him perplexed. "What? Me?"

"Are you sure?" Carson asked.

"Yes. Hiei gave her the bear, not Yukina," Thom reasoned.

"That makes sense," Ted commented.

"Looks like Hiei likes you," Keiko told Shizuru. "And I thought he liked Yukina."

"I don't think that Hiei likes me," Shizuru said.

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

"Just a feeling."

"I going out to smoke. Too many crazy people in here," Genkai announced.

"Are you going back downstairs just to smoke?" Keiko asked confused.

"No. To the balcony," and she went out to the balcony.

"Hiei has a balcony?" Kuwabara asked confused.

"You see, if the bear represents love and Hiei gave it Shizuru, then means that Hiei loves Shizuru," Thom explained.

"I see," Kurama said. He suddenly appeared behind Thom. His mouth twitched. To his sides were Jai and Kyan, trying to get his attention and still trying to learn his name. Kurama looked at Hiei for an explanation.

"I don't love your woman," Hiei said.

"I know. But Yusuke's singing is driving me insane."

Hiei looked behind Kurama and saw Yusuke going in circles singing, "Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru. Hiei loves Shizuru."

Kurama's eyes became golden and he lunged himself at Yusuke. "SHUT UP!!"

"Eep!" Yusuke started to run for his life again. "AAAHHHH!" Yusuke screamed like a little girl.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND CHOP YOU TO LITTLE PIECES AND THEN FEED MY PLANTS!" Kurama yelled.

"And that's my man," Shizuru took a huge gulp of her beer.

"You're man?" Jai and Kyan said as one and began to cry.

The doorbell rang again. Kyan perked up at the sound of it. "Maybe it's another hot Asian guy!"

Kuwabara went to get it again. "Hi. Sorry that we're late," a feminine voice was heard at the door.

"It's okay. Even though you're the last ones to get here," Kuwabara said.

The rest of the Fab Five's heads went up and looked to see who was at the door. This had to be the person Hiei was in love with. Going into the living was first a brown haired teenager with a pacifier in his mouth and then Kuwabara and a beautiful blue haired young woman in a pink kimono. The Fab Five stared at the blue haired young woman. Kyan's eyes sparkled.

"What's your name?" he asked.

Botan blinked at him. "Botan. What's yours?"

Kyan blushed. "Kyan."

"So your name is Botan, huh?" Ted said looking up and down at Botan.

"You're very pretty," Carson said.

"Um, thank you," Botan said awkwardly. _Who were these people?_ she wondered. _Could they all know Hiei? I didn't think that he was that social._

"I have an announcement to make!" Kyan called out, getting the attention of the rest of the people in the room. "From now on, I Kyan Douglas am now straight."

"What!?"

"Are you serious?!"

"You're joking right!?" all came out from the Fab Five.

"And," Kyan continued. "I am in love with Botan." He put an arm around Botan.

"WHAT?!" This time it came out from everyone.

And then the fire alarm went on.


	7. Run While You're still Alive

AN: People like it! People actually like it! Yay!

Thank you Crystal Koneko, tuathafaerie, kitsucaramy, KradsgirlChii, Botan-Hiei-Daughter, ShadowVixen90, Pat, Janay, Hiei's #1 Fan, Carlisle, and LivingImpared.

Tuathafaerie – thank you for remembering to give me a dog name. You're like the only one who did. So I used them all! Thanks a bunch. Still love that long review. And thanks for reviewing twice.

Pat – you really laughed out loud? Cool! At least I managed to crack a big smile for ya.

Janay, Hiei's #1 Fan – okay, I tired my best to make it romantic as possible without it getting too crony. Hope that you like it.

Carlisle – did you really print it out? Wow, I didn't think that it was that good. Hoped that you're friends like it. And about the Fab Five, if you read in chapter 1, it says that there would be major OOC. But I tired to get them in character in some parts.

Because this is the last chapter, I made it longer than usual for allof you. So you better be happy! And thank you once again. I would have updated sooner, but as you know,submissions couldn't be put in.

Chapter 7: Run while you're still alive

The street was filled with people who were either watching the building lit up in flames or trying to put out the flames. Sprays of water from water hoes were turned on to full blasts in hopes of trying to end the fire quickly. Firefighters called out to each other about the fire running out of their control and worried that a person may be trapped inside. Mothers held onto their children in worry and husbands muttered how much of their insurance was going to pay for all of the damages. Other bystanders too, watched the fire consume the building and pitied the families whose homes that would no longer be suitable for living in for a long time.

"Hiei, do you have insurance on your apartment?" Kurama asked watching the flames.

"What's that?" Hiei asked. He too was watching the flames dance.

"How can you not know what insurance is?" Carson asked shocked and in disbelief.

"Didn't the person who sold you the apartment tell what the insurance was for it?" Kyan asked.

Hiei looked at Yusuke. Yusuke shrugged. "I wasn't the one who bought the apartment."

"Neither was I."

The Fab Five looked at them stunned. "Then how do you pay medical insurance?"

"If I don't know what insurance is, how do you expect me to pay medical insurance?" Hiei said irritated. "I don't even have ningen money."

"Then how did you get an apartment in the first place?" Ted asked shock. You can't get an apartment without any money. Unless, you killed someone. Ted eyed Hiei suspiciously. Hiei _was _the type of person to go around killing people if he didn't get what he wanted.

"I got the apartment for him and I am the one paying for it as well," Koenma informed them.

"Why?" all of the Fab Five asked.

Koenma snorted. "Do you think that he would be able to buy an apartment of his own without killing anyone?"

"Oh true."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Too true."

"Very true."

"See Hiei, your reputation as a killing machine is catching up with you," Yusuke teased.

Hiei growled. Kurama glared at Yusuke as well. They still haven't forgiven Yusuke from earlier. Yusuke laughed sheepishly.

"Come on, let's go inside. It's starting to get a little cold out here," Carson said and he went inside the apartment.

"Yeah, let's go. Nice balcony Hiei. Didn't notice it before," Yusuke said, trying to suck up to Hiei, and followed suit.

The rest of them went in inside as well, but Hiei and Kurama stayed behind. The two of them continued to watch the flames swallow the building in its rage five blocks away.

"It's a beautiful night, ne?" Kurama commented.

"Hn."

Kurama sighed. "Did you really have to burn my newly grown plants in your rage?" He looked sorrowfully at his plant's ashes in his hands.

"Did you have to attempt to steal my rocking chair?" Hiei raised an eye brow. "Don't think that I didn't know what you were planning when I realized that there was some over grown plants outside my window."

"Well, I guess we're even then."

"Hn." Hiei causally walked back inside. At the door, he paused. "You agree with the terms of Yusuke's death?"

Kurama smiled a bit too innocently. "Of course. After all, if we were to kill him ourselves, we would be the ones put in prison. With this plan, no one can say that _we_ were the ones that killed him."

"After all, why should_ we _kill Yusuke?" Hiei agreed.

Poor Yusuke. He is so going to die. Kurama wondered if Yusuke made out a will. If he did, Kurama wanted Yusuke's snow globe. Maybe, he should just kill Yusuke himself tonight and take the snow globe. But then Hiei would kill him for not being able to kill Yusuke as well. Kurama sighed again, at this time tomorrow, someone was surly going to die and he was going to make sure that it wasn't going to be him. But he still couldn't believe that Hiei had formed this plan since he first met up with the Fab Five.

"When that fire alarm went off, I was sure that it the fire was coming from this apartment," Carson said.

"I agree. I smelled something burning coming from here before," Thom said.

The YYH gang laughed nervously. The fire alarm from the building they were in and the one five blocks away, simultaneously went on at the same time. While Hiei had thankfully managed to direct his anger on Kurama's plants, they wondered if he was the culprit for the fire five blocks down as well. Well, it was better Kurama's plants than all of them.

Kurama, frantic for his plants, grab the nearest person and threw him out the balcony, extinguishing the flames on the plants. But he wasn't fast enough to save them. The poor soul who acted as the means to stop the fire was cameraman #6. Man, everyone seemed to pick on the cameraman. But, as always, they didn't go camera-less for very long! Carson called in for another cameraman, who will now be known as cameraman #7.

"You must have smelled the smoke from the building that's burning or from Genkai's cigarette," Yusuke said. He nervously looked at Hiei.

"Dimwit, I only had one before the alarm went off. And besides, it didn't make enough smoke to trip off the alarm," Genkai informed Yusuke.

"Well, then they must be going crazy," Yusuke said, angering Carson and Thom.

Hiei wasn't paying attention to what they were talking bout because he was too busy glaring at Kyan. Kyan was making puppy-love eyes at Botan. Botan was happily chatting with Keiko and was oblivious to Kyan's heart shape eyes. Hiei was also glaring at Kuwabara, who was flirting with Yukina again. He didn't know who he should kill outright first, Kyan or Kuwabara.

Yusuke was talking with Shizuru while casting nervous looks at Kurama. Kurama watched Yusuke intently. He knew that Yusuke was only trying to find some protection from Shizuru so he wouldn't kill him. Yusuke wasn't worried about Hiei that much because the fire demon was still busy trying to decide whom to kill first. Jai, Ted, and Thom started longingly at Kurama and Carson at Hiei.

"Look at these kids," Koenma said to Genkai while watching them all. "They're all so young and blindly in love."

"And so much deep in stupidity," Genkai replied.

"Want to bet which one would die first?" the King of Renkai asked.

"2000 Yen says that my baka deshi will be the first one to die. He seems to have a talent for pissing people off."

"You're on. But I think that Kyan is going down first," Koenma said.

"I'll take in on that bet," a voice said from behind them. Mukuro came in from the balcony. "But I'm siding with the old woman." She nodded to Genkai who nodded in return.

"Alright," Koenma shrugged. "Looks like I'll be gaining 4000 Yen by this time tomorrow."

"Don't be so sure," Mukuro said as if she knew everything.

"Hey, who's the guy in all of the bandages?" Kyan asked, noticing that there was someone else there that he didn't know.

"You look like a mummy," Carson commented. "You need a whole new wardrobe. Maybe some red would brighten up your eyes because bandages are so ancient Egyptian. Blue would also give you a natural look. I know this great shop that I could show you to-"

Mukuro punched him hard on the face. Carson flew several feet away form where he stood and grew a black eye.

"I'll take my leave now," Mukuro said after several seconds later. "I'm afraid that if I stay any longer, _I'll_ end up killing someone. And that's not going to look good on TV."

"Not even going to stay for the food?" Hiei asked, as if he really didn't care if she was staying or not.

"Pack up some for me," Mukuro turned to leave and then paused at the door as Hiei had done before. "You got a nice house here. Very much like a human. Just don't forget about your true home."

And the she was gone. The rest of the Fab Five stared on at where Mukuro had been in awe and shock.

"Was that a guy or a girl?"

"I'm pretty sure that he was a guy."

"How could you tell?"

"Call it a man's intuition."

"Like the time when you said that the small red head guy that we saw at the airport saw a girl?"

"He was cute though."

"Hiei, the okonomiyaki is ready!" Ted called from the kitchen.

"Okonomiyaki?" Yusuke asked. "I love okonomiyaki! I can't believe that Hiei made us okonomiyaki!"

A minute later, Ted came out with a dish of okonomiyaki for everyone at the table who waited anxiously for the food.

"That smells good," Kuwabara commented Hiei, only because _did _smell good.

Hiei didn't acknowledge the praise because he was still sore about him flirting with Yukina. Then again, he was always pissed about Kuwabara about anything and everything.

"It smells too good. Are you _sure _that Hiei made this?" Yusuke asked Ted as he put down a plate in front of Yusuke.

"It does smell good and I'm sure that it must taste good as well," Kurama said. "But you can tell that Hiei made them." He held up his okonomiyaki to show everyone his point. On the okonomiyaki, the characters for kitsune were written in sauce.

Everyone looked down at their okonomiyaki and saw their own little names in sauce.

"Hey! Why does mine say 'big oaf'!?" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Hahaha. Maybe because you are," Yusuke laughed at his friend. Then he looked down at his own okonomiyaki. "Hey. Why does mine say 'dimwit'!?"

"And why do I have 'baby'?!" Koenma said angrily. He was the ruler of Renkai! He should be treated with more respect and he was the one who was paying for Hiei's apartment.

"I have 'moron 1'," Carson said.

"I've got 'moron 2'," Thom said.

"'Moron 3'," Jai said.

"'Moron 4'," Kyan said.

They all looked at Ted, expecting him to say that he got moron 5. "I've got 'head chief.'"

"What?! How come he didn't insult you like he did with the rest of us?!"

"Hiei didn't insult me," Yukina said. "Mine says 'ice princess.'"

The Fab Five looked over to Shizuru. "I've got 'kitsune's onna.'"

"See, I told you that Hiei likes her," Carson stated happily while pointing to Yukina.

"But if Hiei likes her, then why did he give her," Thom pointed at Shizuru, "the bear?"

"Yes, but she is the one that Hiei wrote something nice about," Carson said defending his statement.

"Maybe Hiei wrote something nice to all of the girls' okonomiyaki," Jai said.

They all looked to Keiko, Botan, and Genkai.

"Mine says 'dimwit's onna,'" Keiko said with a smile that said that she wasn't sure if she should be insulted or not.

"I've got 'old hag,'" Genkai said and took a bite of her okonomiyaki. She really didn't care what her okonomiyaki said, as long as she could eat it.

"Mine isn't that much of a shock," Botan said. "It says 'baka onna.'"

"See, I told you that Hiei loves her," Carson smiled with triumphant.

"But he still gave this girl the bear!" Thom said obsessed with the thought that Hiei likes someone who is about two feet taller than him.

"But she is dating him!" Ted said point to Kurama.

"Don't remind me," Jai wailed.

"You know, it just occurred to me, we don't even know their names," Kyan said thoughtfully.

The rest of the Fab Five had a thoughtful look on their face as well.

"You know," Jai said slowly. "It never occurred to me that we didn't even know their names. We only know Botan's, Keiko's and the others that we met before."

"But you do know our names, right?" Thom asked Yukina, Kurama, Genkai, Koenma, Shizuru, and Genkai. They all nodded.

"I'm Shizuru."

"My name is Yukina."

"Genkai."

"You may call me Koenma."

They all looked to Kurama. Kurama fidget in his chair. He really didn't want to give his name to them. But, poor Kurama, his girlfriend shoved him with her elbow after he kept silent for a while. "Shuichi."

"Shuichi," the Fab Five sighed dreamily.

Kurama edged his chair closer to Shizuru.

"Hiei loves Yukina!" Carson exclaimed again.

"No, he loves Shizuru!" Thom yelled back at Carson.

"But Shizuru and Shuichi are dating," Ted informed them again.

"Didn't I say not to remind me?" Jai wailed again.

"Are you trying to say that there is some square thing going on between Hiei and Shizuru, Yukina, and Shuichi?" Kyan asked confused.

"Would you all stop talking about Hiei loving my Yukina?!" Kuwabara yelled angrily. "She's too good for him!"

"Oh my, now it's some five sided shape love triangle," Kyan said.

"Hiei loves Shizuru!"

"No, he loves Yukina!"

"Shizuru!"

"Yukina!"

"HAHAHA! Wow Hiei, you're really popular," Yusuke laughed.

"But Shizuru is dating Shuichi!"

"And Yukina is dating Kuwabara!"

"Yukina is dating me!" Kuwabara said happily.

"Shut up you moron. You two weren't actually dating," Yusuke said.

"What did you say Urameshi!?"

"WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP AND EAT THE DAMN OKONOMIYAKI!" Hiei yelled angrily and slammed his fist on the table, shaking it. They were using a metal table, so it didn't break right away.

"FINE!" the Fab Five (except for Ted), Kuwabara, and Yusuke all said as one and took a bite of their okonomiyaki. A moment later, all of their eyes widen in shock and their stomach rumbled loudly. They were all sure that it could have been heard for miles. It wasn't the type of rumble from hunger either.

"BATHROOM!" they all exclaimed and ran for the bathroom.

Carson shoved Kyan, who then tripped on Jai's leg while Jai was getting up. Thom pushed his chair so that Yusuke was hit by it and had to take a step back, Kuwabara pulled at Thom's shoulder to gain the advantage, but Jai was thrown at them by Yusuke so they all went down in a heap. Ten feet from the prized bathroom, Carson was grabbed at the feet by the Yusuke, hanging him in mid-air, letting Kyan take the led. But Kuwabara quickly got up and pushed aside Kyan and got to the bathroom first, slamming the door on all of them.

They all looked at the closed door in shock and horror.

"No!" Kyan pounded at the door while clutching his stomach on bended knees.

"Kuwabara! Get out of there! I need to use the bathroom!" Yusuke yelled while pounding on the door as well and holding his stomach.

"Well too bad Urameshi, I got here first!" Kuwabara called from the bathroom.

"I got to go. I got to go. I got to go," Carson half sang while going around in circles.

"Please stop doing that, it makes me got to go right now," Kyan pleaded with him.

Carson stopped going in circles. Then he sang again, "Got to go, got to go. Got to go, got to go. Got to go right now."

"Right now," Thom sang with him.

"I really got to go!" Yusuke yelled in frustration. He started to punch the door, hoping to open it.

"Yusuke!" Keiko yelled. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Trying," Yusuke punched. "To get." Punch. "This." Punch, punch. "Door." Punch. Punch. Punch. "Open!"

Yusuke stopped punching the door so he could clutch his stomach again. "I need to go now!"

Surprisingly, the door managed to stay intact and without a scratch despite all of its beatings.

Thom's eyes lit up. "The bathroom in the apartment that we're staying in!"

Then, the process of all of them running to get to the bathroom began all over again. Kyan shoved Carson, Thom tripped on Yusuke's foot, Carson threw a magazine at the bottom of Yusuke's feet so he slipped on it a fell flat on his back. In the hall, Kyan took the led, but Thom threw himself at him, and Yusuke grabbed Carson by the shirt and threw him further ahead to the apartment door where the beloved bathroom was located. Carson yelped in joy and quickly searched for the key as Yusuke muttered a string of curses that is not appropriate for the rating of this story.

All the neighbors stayed inside their apartments and warned their children to stay inside as well because of the crazy men outside. The children listened to their parents because they feared the crazy men and their potty mouths. One person even called the security.

Back at Hiei's apartment, the rest of the people (except Hiei) still there stared at their food warily.

"Hehe…" Botan nervously laughed. "So… What's the main course?"

Koenma looked at his okonomiyaki as if it was going to attack him any second. Kurama picked at his food. Then he tilted his head to look at Genkai's empty plate and raised an eye brow at Hiei.

"I didn't poison all the food. Only theirs," Hiei said and began to eat his okonomiyaki.

"Only theirs?" Kurama inquired further.

Hiei paused. "Yes."

Kurama didn't really trust Hiei's response because he took a moment to answer.

Yukina began to eat her okonomiyaki. "This is good Hiei-san. I didn't know that you were such a good cook."

"Hn." Hiei was pleased that his sister liked his cooking. At the comer of his eye, he watched Botan take a small piece of her okonomiyaki and sniffed it before plopping it into her. He watched carefully at her facial expressions. First thoughtful, then consideration, and lastly her eyes lit up. She took a bigger bite of her okonomiyaki and he saw how she enjoyed the taste of his cooking.

"This really is good Hiei," Botan praised him. Inside Hiei congratulated and patted himself on the back.

About an hour later, Kuwabara, having coming out of the bathroom about 30 minutes ago, glared at Hiei. Hiei glared back. Botan stretched on her chair. "That was some good food."

"I agree," Genkai said.

"Who would have thought that Hiei here was such a good chief?" Kurama teased, but was shut up when Hiei turned his glare at him.

"Well I did show him some of the finer points in cooking," Ted said proudly, even though most of the food was brought in by Keiko, Yukina, Shizuru, and Genkai.

Koenma came back to the table with a very pale face. Botan looked at her boss worried. "What's wrong Koenma?"

Koenam turned his head slowly towards her like a robot. He started to say something but it was too low for Botan to hear. Wanting to know what her boss was saying, Botan inclined her head near Koenma's mouth to her him.

"The bathroom," he said. "It smells."

"Smells?" Botan asked confused.

Koenma nodded. "Kuwabara. Over use."

Botan's eyes grew big in realization. She looked up to see Yukina heading towards the bathroom. She hastily got up from her seat and grabbed Yukina by the elbow.

"What is it Botan?" Yukina asked in her innocent manner.

"Uh…" Botan didn't know what to say. She didn't want to openly embarrass Kuwabara in front of Yukina, but how was she going to explain to her that can't go to the bathroom?

Fortunately for Botan, there was a knock at the door. Keiko went to get it. At the other side of the door was a security officer. "May I help you?"

"Excuse me Miss, but is this yours?" the security guard said and brought from behind his back Yusuke.

Yusuke was in a fetal position with wide, watery eyes, and the guard was holding onto him by the back of his shirt.

Keiko slapped her forehead. "What have you done now, Yusuke?"

"I had to go," Yusuke said weakly.

"Are the others with you?" Keiko asked the guard exasperated.

"You mean them?" the guard took a step to the side revealing four other men hand who were cuffed. Three of them were holding their stomachs in pain.

"Oh my," Kurama said from behind Keiko.

As the rest of them went to the door to sort out the complications with Yusuke and the Fab Five or Four, Hiei grabbed Botan by her elbow as she had done with Yukina before. Botan looked at him confused.

"I need to talk to you," Hiei told her quietly so that no one would hear, not even cameraman #7, who was busy filming the situation at the door. Botan nodded slowly and followed Hiei to the balcony.

"So what do you want to tell me?" Botan asked once they arrived at the balcony and after Hiei made sure that no one was watching.

Hiei turned his head to the side and blush a little. Botan saw the blush and was confused. "Hiei, are you sick? You look a little red." She moved to place a hand on his forehead, but he backed away from it as if her hand was fire.

"Baka onna! I'm not sick!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" Hiei glared at her. Botan let out a nervous giggle. Now she was getting a little scared of him.

Hiei continued to glare at her. For a long while, he glared at her. Botan felt like a deer caught under the headlights under his glare. She started to fidget and began have paranoid thoughts. 'What if Hiei brought me out here to kill me? What if he wants to chop me to pieces with his katana? Is he mad at me for something that I did? What if he wants to throw me off the balcony? Sure, I could summon my oar and I'll be saved, but he still tired to kill me! Or worst, what if he wants to rape me! There's no one here! And he checked!' Botan thought. She grew even more nervous. Thoughts of a lusty, drooling fire demon running around in circles filled her head.

Hiei glared. He didn't know what else to do. He slightly opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth and glared. He thought of what he was going to say. Nothing came to his mind of what he could tell the deity about his feelings towards her without sounding like a loser.

So he continued to glare. He wasn't glaring _at _her. His glare was just in the direction where she was. He glared only because he didn't know what to say. And as each moment passed, his glare intensified because he couldn't find the right words to say to her. Too bad for poor Botan, who thought that Hiei must be really, really mad at her.

All he did was glare at her. She couldn't stand it! Not knowing what to do, and not knowing what she was doing, tears began to form at the corner of her eyes. Hiei's sensitive nose picked up traces of salt and his eyes immediately saw the tears at the corners of Botan's eyes. He began to panic.

"Onna, what's wrong?" he asked, trying not to sound too concerned and not too cold.

Botan jumped at being acknowledged after being glared at for so long. "You were glaring at me. And… and I thought that you were mad at me," she said in a weak voice.

Hiei stared at her while she continued to talk. "And you wouldn't stop. You kept glaring and glaring and glaring and glaring. I didn't think that you would ever stop. Because you kept glaring. So I thought that you were mad at me or something. Then I started to think that you would rape me."

"Botan would you just shut up so I could- that I'd what?!" Hiei looked at her as if she'd grown four heads.

"That you'd… hehe… that you'd rape me?" Botan sheepishly laughed.

Hiei was flabbergasted. He continued to stare at her. "I wouldn't do that!"

"Then why wouldn't you stop glaring at me!?" Botan bawled. More tears formed at her eyes.

Hiei didn't like her crying. He wanted her to stop. It hurt to see her like this. "Because!"

"Because?" Botan asked. Tears were coming down to her cheeks.

"Because! I- I…" Hiei stammered.

"You?" Botan sniffed.

"Just because!" Tears poured down from Botan's eyes rapidly. Now Hiei was really hurt. He was such an insensitive jerk! He couldn't get the words out of his mouth. He opened his mouth again to say the three words, but nothing came out. Botan continued to cry. His mouth betrayed him. Stupid mouth.

Then Hiei remembered the bear. He had grabbed it back from Shizuru after Botan arrived. He quickly grabbed it from his pocket and shoved it to Botan's chest, who fumbled while trying to hold on to it. "Here. That's what I wanted to say to you."

He turned to look at the human city while Botan examined at the bear. She stared long and hard at it. Hiei began to sweat. She was taking too long in inspecting it. What if she didn't return his feelings? What if she was trying to think of a nice polite way of turning him down? What if she thought that it was a joke? What if she loved someone else? Now who was the one with the paranoid thoughts?

"Hiei?" he heard he ask quietly. "Is this for real?"

"Hn," he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Do you love me?"

She wanted a response. But what if she didn't love him? What if she was trying to fool him? He couldn't have that. But once again, his mouth betrayed him. "Yes."

He smelled more tears from Botan. "What is it now onna?" He turned to see a crying Botan. But what he didn't expect was Botan flying at him to give him a hug.

"I love you too."

Hiei became stiff from shock after hearing that. But soon, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. They stayed like that for a while and Hiei buried his head in her hair. He took a big whiff. It smelled nice. Both of them wanted to stay like that forever, in each other's arms.

"When are they going to kiss?" they both heard someone say.

"Shh, they'll hear you," another person scolded.

"You did hear that, right Hiei?" Botan asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied just as quiet.

"This is boring. All they do is hug. I want to see some action!" a voice that sounded just like Yusuke said.

"Shh!" this came from multiple people.

"How many do you think are watching?" Botan asked.

"My guess is everyone."

"Come on. Kiss already!" a Carson's voice was heard.

"Shh! You'll give us away," this one came from Jai.

"No! First hot Asian guy! Now hot Asian girl!" a muffled cry was then heard.

"I thought I told you to keep him quiet!" Yusuke semi yelled.

"Well if _you_ don't be quiet, we're all done for!" Kuwabara yelled back at Yusuke.

"Has anyone thought that this might be wrong?" Kurama's voice has heard next.

"No," all the males coursed.

"Hey, move! I can't see a thing!" this time it was from Koenma.

"Hiei, we need to do something," Botan hissed.

"I know," Hiei thought for a moment. Then screams could be heard from the same people that had to use the bathroom. Hiei brought up his head to smirk at his work. The fire alarm went off once again.

"I told Yusuke not to stick his nose in other people's busy," Keiko muttered while taking a sip on her tea. All the girls and Ted were sitting on the table drinking their tea while the guys were on fire, Koenma, Kurama, Hiei and Botan watching them burn, and the fire alarm screaming like there is no tomorrow.

"We should have left them with the policy," Genkai said.

"We should have," Shizuru agreed.

"Don't you think we should help?" Ted asked worriedly. He didn't think that people on fire was a good thing. Especially if it was people that he knew.

"They'll be alright," Keiko took another sip of her tea.

Ted looked to Yukina, hoping that there would be at least one sane person in the apartment. "Don't worry," she said. "My brother wouldn't kill them."

While Hiei was watching them burn, he allowed himself a small smile. This night turned out better than he thought. He got the woman that he loved _and _he got to execute half of the revenge that he planned. This was going all too well. Then he felt Botan tug at his sleeve. He looked at her in confusion. She pointed to someone with a camera.

It was camera #7. Next to him was camera #6. They were surrounded by all of the cameramen! Hiei could tell that they all caught Hiei's confession to Botan by the smirk on cameraman #1's face. Hiei got mad.

That night, screams of pain, agony, and fire alarms could be heard in the starry night sky.

---------- at Hiei's home/castle in Makai ----------

Yusuke glared at Hiei's small form in the dark corridor. Kuwabara muttered curses, not appropriate for the rating of this story, behind Hiei's back. The Fab Five (expect Ted) stayed close to each other. They didn't like the dark hall that seemed to go on endlessly. The halls were so big, that they couldn't even see the ceiling. There was some torches lit that hung on the walls, but it wasn't enough to provided a sufficient amount of light.

Hiei had taken them to his "real" home the following day as a sort of apology. He blinded the Fab Five while going to Makai so they wouldn't see how they got there and he covered their ears with wax so they wouldn't hear the demons beg to eat their flesh or torture them. The first part of the tour of the castle was impressing. Big rooms, nice furniture, had the dark eerie feeling, and other things that one would find in a castle. Now they were walking in a very long hallway with Hiei leading the way and Kurama with him.

"Are we there yet?" Thom got the courage to ask. The place was freaking him out. He liked it, but it gave him the chills.

"Almost," Hiei replied, never once turning back to look at them.

"Hey, what are you going to show us anyway?" Yusuke asked annoyed. The hallway was too long!

"Patience Yusuke," Kurama answered for Hiei. "After all, patience is a virtue." His eyes gleamed.

"Yeah, well. You still haven't answered my question," Yusuke said. Neither Hiei nor Kurama answered for they had finally arrived at really huge door at the end of the hall.

Kuwabara snickered. A huge door that was about 25 feet tall, for a little guy like Hiei who was barely 5 feet. In awe, the Fab Five watched as Hiei opened the huge door, all 25 feet of it. It opened to an outdoor garden.

"It's really pretty here," Jai said. There were beautiful flowers planted on the ground in a ungarden-like fashion, in a more natural way, and rather large trees too that gathered in a forest-like way.

"So what are you really going to show us?" Yusuke asked again.

Kurama stayed by the door. Hiei answered. "Do you like dogs?"

"I love dogs!" Carson said happily. The garden and the mention of dogs made him feel much better after the long, dark hallway.

"Well," Hiei said. "I'd like you to feed my dog. His name is JuJuBean."

Yusuke snickered at the dog's name. "Alright, we'll feed your dog. What a funny name for a dog, JuJuBean." He laughed again. The others laughed at the dog's name as well. Hiei and Kurama only smiled in anticipation.

"You can come out now," Hiei said in the direction of the forest. A rumble was felt on the ground. Like a miniature earthquake. Trees being moved echoed. Dogs' barks could be heard from the forest.

"I thought you said dog," Kyan said fearfully. He and the others took several steps back. "Dog. As in singular."

From the forest came a three headed, 14 foot, black dog. All of the heads were barking, razor sharp teeth showing, and eyes blazedred in hunger. Hiei smirked. "This is my dog, JuJuBean. The right is Ju, the middle is Ju, and the left is Bean."

"JuJuBean. I get it. Hehe. How clever," Kuwabara said, his voice showing how scared he was.

"JuJuBean is short for his kind," Hiei informed them.

"Short?! That thing is huge!" Yusuke exclaimed. One of JuJuBean's heads tried to bit Yusuke's head off, but Hiei held on to the dog. The Fab Five was rooted to the spot. The dare not move else they'll attract its attention. They have never seen anything like it before, and they were torn between disbelief and shear terror.

"His kind is usually about 20 feet or so. His mate is 19 feet. She is resting at the moment so you won't be able to see her," Hiei said.

"T-That's good t-to hear," Yusuke was really afraid now. The first Ju stared at him like he was dinner.

"Now, about feeding him," Hiei nodded to Kurama, who shut the 25 feet door close. Kurama was inside the castle now. The Fab Five, Yusuke, and Kuwabara all looked to the closed door in horror and back to Hiei. Or to where Hiei had been. JuJuBean took a step towards them. They all screamed and ran for the door. They banged and scream for the door to be let open. But it didn't move. They tried opening the door themselves, but it still wouldn't move.

"AAHHHH!" they screamed as JuJuBean drew closer.

"Run for it!" Thom screamed. They all ran as one with JuJuBean close behind.

"Split up! He can't follow all of us at the same time!" Yusuke yelled. Carson ran with Jai to the left, Kyan with Thom to the right, and Yusuke with Kuwabara ran straight. To their horror, JuJuBean split in three. Each head now had its own body, and each hungry for red meat.

"AAAHHHHH! RUN WHILE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"

The forest was filled of screams of terror and dogs barking in hungry.

"This is way I'm a cat person!" Kuwabara yelled.

At a high window, Kurama and Hiei watched it all. Smiles ofvictory on their faces.Then they went back inside deeper into the castle, after they had set up the stolen cameras to continue filming the chase.

"Aww. You are so cute!" Botan said to the little black puppy in her arms.

"Isn't he the cutest?" Keiko said while petting the puppy.

"He is so adorable," Yukina said while she too patted the puppy. The puppy barked happily at all the attention she was getting.

"Asahoshi is a glutton for attention," Kurama said as he came into the room with another puppy in his arms. But this one had two heads.

All the girls went over to the puppy and, "Aww. He's so cute!"

"He has two heads," Ted looked at the two headed puppy, now in Shizuru's arms, in freight.

"He's mutated," Kurama explained. In the back of his head, he also said how Asahoshi was mutated as well. They should have had three heads like their parents.

"Which one is which?" Yukina asked, patting the two headed puppy affectionately.

"The one on the right is Midnight and the other is Blue."

"They really are cute," Shizuru smiled at the puppy in her arms.

At that moment, Hiei came into the room with seven big sacks that he dragged behind him.

"What are you doing, Hiei?" Botan asked as she handed Keiko Asahoshi.

"Taking out the trashed," he answered.

"One of it is moving," Ted pointed to the sack that was moving. Hiei looked down at the bag and quickly hit it with the hilt of his sword. They all heard something coming from the sack before it stopped moving.

Then Hiei went to the balcony of the room (they are all in Hiei's castle) and threw out the sacks one by one. When he was done, he turned around to find Baton there. He wrapped his arms around her as she did the same. They leaned in closed to one another, their foreheads touching.

"So what was in the sacks?" Botan asked.

Hiei smirked. "The cameramen."

Botan laughed. Then they kissed. Their first kiss. Sweet and innocent at first, then grew into a passionate kiss. They barely heard the screams and barking echoing throughout the night. All they knew was that they had each other.


	8. Epilogue

AN: Yes, yes. I know that I said that the last chapter was going to be the last one, but I couldn't help myself! Besides, there was some loose ends that I wanted to tie up.

StrawberrySoulReaper - it was you that gave me the drive to write another chapter. And thank you for the cookies!

Crystal Koneko - Thank you! And yay! I'm going on your favorites list!

tuathafaerie - Once again, thank you so much! Ted survived because of you. Sadly, there is no HBness in this chapter.

Pen Aaginst Sword - Did you really? I came up with this plot whileI was watching Queer Eyefor the Straight Guy one day and then I thought, hey, why not let _them _visit Hiei? I would love to see how Hiei would react! And so, this fic was born!

P.S. Did anybody liked the name JuJuBean? I thought it would be funny for Hiei's dog's name.

**Epilogue **

"GEORGE!"

A voice yelled out from the halls and echoed throughout most part of the Renkai castle. Footsteps scrambling to get to the office where George was located became louder each second as sounds of chaos followed closely behind it. Ferry girls' voice could also be heard as they squealed in surprise or freight, sometimes a mixture of both or from curses about a day's work being lost by the person causing the disturbance.

George started to sweat upon hearing his name being called by his boss. About to leave Koenma's office to go hide from the owner of the said office, the door slammed opened and then was slammed shut as quickly as a heart beat.

At the door was the little king Koenma, sweating a great deal, pale face, and panting as if he had been running for his life. Then again, he probably was and George didn't want to be there when who-ever it was that wanted Koenma's life would appear.

"Seal the office! Make sure that no one gets in here!" Koenma ordered hoarsely.

"Koenma-sama, what's going on?" the oni asked bewildered and half in freight.

"Didn't I just tell you to seal the office?" Koenma gave his worker a nasty look George immediately went to obey. "As for what's going on, someones wants something that I won't give."

"Someones?" George asked, even more confused. Last time he checked, someone_s _was not a word.

"Yes, someones. And I refuse to give it," Koenma pressed some buttons on his desk and the office was then covered in titanium metal and an alloy that was way advance for the ningen time. George pressed some buttons as well and the door was sealed tight by several over metal doors and the same advance alloy.

Next, Koenma pressed a small pink button that revealed a big red button and pressed that. A small holographic computer screen appeared and a female voice asked, "Please state password."

Koenma cleared his throat. "The Great and Powerful Koenma is the Greatest, Smartest, and Most Handsome being to ever exist."

Notice the capital letters where it shouldn't be? Now talk about a big ego.

"Password and voice identification confirmed. Shield spells raised," the female said and the computer screen vanished.

Finally, Koenma dropped to his chair as he felt the ancient spells cover the office, protecting everything and everyone in it. He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and began to wipe away the sweat that pour down his face. "That was close."

"I beg your pardon sir, but who is after you?" George asked fearful. Koenma did not put up the ancient spells unless there was some great emergency. The spells were older than him and Koenma combined and there were more spells that were activated than there were stars!

"Two very powerful and deadly people, ogre," Koenma said darkly. "Not matter what, we must not let them take what they are after."

George nodded his head. A purpose was set out, and he was determined to not let Koenma down. He would give up his life so that the enemies would not get whatever they were after. He looked at the door and prepared for the worst.

But the whole preparing for the worst attitude didn't last for very long. As soon as there was a tremor felt, George's brave attitude slipped as water slips from open fingers. He cowered behind Koenma, who cowered behind his chair.

Another tremor was felt. This one felt like a small earthquake that shook the office. Then another one was felt. It was harder and the source seemed to come from the sealed door. A third was felt. It caused the pen on top of the desk to roll over and dropped to the floor. Koenma and George hugged each other in freight.

Koenma-sama, maybe you should just give the people what ever it is that they want," George said, clearly scared out of his wits.

Koenma pushed away from George and glared at him. "I may be scared, but I still have my pride! It is a lot more than what I could say for you! Have you no pride oni?"

"I think that I lost it sir," George replied.

Koenma jumped to his feet. "You should have some pride! What kind of man are you then?"

"I'm not even a man sir!"

"Oh… Well there's that… But still! You have no pride in what you do? Look at you! You work for one of the most important and powerful person to ever come to existence! You stand near that same person everyday! And you have no pride! I'm ashamed of you George," Koenma shook his head, shamed face.

George looked down at his hands. Koenma was right! He had to be strong and have pride! He was an oni! I was the right hand man, well not man, but person of the Lord Koenma! He was no coward! He will fight for his Koenma-sama! And besides, if Koenma dies, where will he go? There was no hire for Renkai yet and George didn't want to go to Makai. It's dangerous there.

George stood up and walked a few feet before the door. Determination was once again shown on his eyes. And once again he was ready to face whatever it was for Koenma. In the background, Koenma cheered his worker. But when an earthquake rumbled and a loud pounding was heard from the door, Koenma quickly hid behind his desk again in fear.

"Koenma-sama, I will defend you with everything I am," George announced and let out a battle cry, that was cut off when the door flew out of its hinges. It narrowly missed George. George crocked when he saw who was at where the door had previously been. "Mukuro-sama? Genkai-san?"

Both Mukuro and Genkai glanced at the shocked faced, immobilized oni standing in their way and then glared to where Koenma was hiding.

"Did you really think that those weak spells would stop us?" Mukuro smirked. A glint of menace managed to show in her blank, cold eyes.

"Move," Genkai commanded George emotionlessly. George quickly obeyed.

"Koenma," Mukuro said coldly. "I believe that you have something that belongs to us?"

"R-Really? I-I d-d-do? I wonder what that could be." Koenma said clearly frighten. His body was trembling and the chair that he was hiding behind shook as well. Genkai calmly walked up to Koenma, kicking aside the desk and chair as she did so and looked at Koenma straight in the eyes, impassively.

"I believe that you do."

George watched it all with transfixed eyes. He would finally learn what Koenma possessed that they wanted. He completely forgot that if Genkai and Mukuro kill Koenma, he would be forced to go live in Makai.

"Koenma," Mukuro said, just as coldly as Genkai. "Hand it over. Give us our money."

"Money?" George asked confused. He blinked. His jaw went down is disbelief.

"Your Koenma-sama owes us money from a little bet that we made about two nights ago," Genkai answered.

George looked over to Koenma. "This whole thing… putting up the barrier shields and making that big about pride… was about money?"

Koenma's face turned from terror to glare at his employee. "I do have my pride! Unlike you!"

"How much money?"

"2000 yen. Each," Mukuro answered. Hers and Genkai's eyes still on Koenma.

"2000 yen?!" George asked flabbergasted. Koenma made a whole big speech about have pride just so he could get away without giving up 4000 yen? He was about to give up his life just so Koenma wouldn't have to pay such a small amount of money? Koenma had an endless supply of money and he refused to give up a tiny, tiny, tiny, small portion of it?

"George! Help me!" Koenma yelled out as Mukuro and Genkai moved closer to him.

George shook his head lightly and rubbed the back of his head. A fake impish smile grew on his face. "Gee, Koenma-sama. I would really love to, but you see… I just remembered that I have a dentist appointment. And I'm running really late. So I have to go. See you later Mukuro-sama, Genkai-san."

"NO! George! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

He waved bye-by to his boss and then he left. Leaving Koenma with the two angry women.

"You lost the bet," Mukuro stated. She punched the wall behind Koenma. He yelped in fear.

"Now pay up," Genkai demanded. She kicked her leg to the other side of Koenma, trapping him in a box with Mukuro's arm and her leg. This time he whimpered.

"B-But, how do you know that Yusuke was the one who got hit first?" Koenma defended himself. "They all got sick at the same and got bit by Hiei's dog at the same time too!"

"Actually, Yusuke took a bit out of his okonomiyaki one tenth of a second faster than the others and was the first one to be bitten by Hiei's dog. So you lost, on both counts," Genkai smirked at Koenma's horrified face.

Mukuro and Genkai moved in for the kill.

"AAAHHHHH!"

A scream was heard throughout the Renkai castle.

"I wonder what that was," Botan said thoughtfully. She got up from her chair from besides Kuwabara's bedside and went out of the room to investigate. Shizuru followed her into the chaotic hallway full of other ferry girls and oni.

When both girls didn't come back after about twenty minutes later, Keiko and Yukina went to the hallway as well to look for them and found out what was going on. Kurama watched them leave from he sat besides Yusuke. He closed the book that he was reading and got up to look at all of the patients. All of them were wrapped and covered from head to toe with white bandages. None of them could neither move much nor speak.

A couple of hours after Hiei and Kurama left Yusuke, Kuwabara, and the Fab Five (except for Ted) the night before, they found them surround by Hiei's dog(s). They were torn clothed, or rather their clothes were barely covering their bodies, blood in some places, not a lot, paled face, huge wide eyes in freight and horror, and hugging each other in sheer terror as the dogs circled them. About to eat them for dinner, Hiei and Kurama intervened.

Saving them at the last minute, the six of them fell to unconsciousness. Now in Renkai's hospital ward that was rarely used, the six of them and Hiei and Kurama stood or laid on the bed. It was true that humans were not allowed in Renkai unless they were dead, but this was for special circumstances. Their memories of being in Makai needed to be erased and the bites needed to be treated for they were poisons.

Although Hiei and Kurama would normally be severely punished for their plan, they doubted that Koenma was in the punishing mood. Not when Genkai and Mukuro were punishing him for not holding up his end of the bargain. And though it was also true that the six patients didn't need to have their whole bodies wrapped in bandages and their small cuts and bites (how they managed to evade a really bite out of the big dogs was anyone's guess), Kurama and Hiei got kicks out of watching their blood circulation stop. Manily Hiei did, Kurama just wanted to see Yusuke suffer.

"AAHHH! Someone! Help me!" another scream was heard.

"It was hard trying not let Yukina not heal all of you," Kurama said after a while.

"Mmpp mppff mpp," Kuwabara said. His mouth was covered up as well and eyes angry.

"But it was for good reasons," Kurama finished.

"Mummp mmmh mmppf mopf FMUF!" Yusuke tried to yell. He shook against his tight bonds without success.

Kurama just smiled that 'not you say can change my mood' smile. "Why Yusuke, such foul language. I don't think that Keiko would like such a bad mouth."

"FMUF MOU!" Yusuke yelled once again. His eyes blazed with rage.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Since you can't seem to control your foul mouth, I guess that I'll just leave you with Hiei," Kurama watched as the Fab (coughs) Four started to squirm with their bonds in frantic panic. Their eyes held such terror that Kurama wondered how long until they begged for their life.

Even though Kurama couldn't see it, he was sure that Yusuke's face paled. "MM MUFFOP!"

"MNN MNNFF!" Kuwabara begged. His eyes pleading.

"I really must get going. Ted must be lonely in Hiei's apartment. And you can thank Yusuke for reminding me about Ted. I really liked that okonomiyaki and I want the recipe so I can make some for my mother. So ja!" Kurama left the room with frantic mufflings of "Don't go!" and "Don't leave me!" and also "Help me!"

After a while, the six of them grew tired of squirming and calling out for help that would not or ever come. Much like Koenma. the room became quite. All eyes were fixed on Hiei, waiting for him to move.

Finally he did. He opened his eyes and stood up straight from the wall he was leaning on. He walked to the center of the room so that the patients could all see him.

"I will say this once and only once. So you all better not be paying attention," he said.

This caught all of their attention even though Hiei said that they should not be paying attention.

Hiei gave a small sigh in defeat. "Without all of you in my life… I would be…"

The six patients' eyes grew in anticipation. Was he about to say something nice about them? Was Hiei creating a hallmark moment?

"My life would be… so… so much more pleasant without you idiot fools running around like maniacs."

Six pairs of eyes went down cast. So he wasn't about to say something nice about them. Like his life was now more meaningful because of them. Or that he actually considered them to be his best friends and then reveal some sad sappy story about his past that explained why he acts the way he is. Or shed a tear (that would turn into a valuable gem) and apology to all of them and ask for forgiveness and hen ask for a group hug.

"But," their hearts soared. Maybe he was going to ask for a group hug. Of course that thought came from the Fab Four.

"But I suppose that without you annoying people, Botan would not have known me or return my affections."

Their eyes lit with hope.

"But that does not mean that I would apologize to you in any way."

"MPPF?!" Yusuke said shocked and angry.

"And," Hiei walked up to the foot Yusuke's bed. "If any of you," he grabbed onto Yusuke's foot, "think that I would ever apologize for any of my actions towards you," Yusuke's eyes scream with pain. "Then you really are fools."

Hiei proceed to walk out of the room when he stopped and turned his head to the side so that they could see his right eye. "But I guess I should thank you."

Hearts soared.

"But I'm not that kind of demon."

Hearts sank. And he left.

'Never again will we do an international show!' the Fab Four shouted in their minds. But wait. Did Hiei just say that he was a demon?

Suddenly an image of a green skin Hiei with purple eyes, a large eye on his forehead, and multiple eyes all over his body was implanted in their minds. The demon smirked dangerously.

And then the castle was filled with four screaming human men and one little king. The day was a good day for screaming in Renkai.


End file.
